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With its kitschy cozy vibe, The Rumpus Room on Main Street kept us busy with Jenga, puzzles, and other old games, perfect for a lazy Sunday afternoon. It was here we met Lindsay Glauser, age 28 from Duncan who is bubbly verging on giddy, and Carm Kwan, age 29 from Prince George who is more matter-of-fact and even-keeled with a subtle dead-pan humour. They seem extremely comfortable with these differences, which also show themselves in their opinions and interests. We got together to hear about the scrabble proposal and rare sightings in Tofino. |
How long ago and how did you meet?
Lindsay: We met 9 years ago when we worked together at Patisserie Lebeau [on second] in Kitsilano. He got a job in the back and I worked in the front so I’d make him lattes. One day after work we decided to go to Granville Island Brew Pub. We did the taster rounds and then went out dancing.
Carm: (deadpan) We were drunk though, she left that part out. Really hammered.
What drew you to him/her when you first met?
Lindsay: We had chemistry; we grew up in similar environments. In Prince George they did a lot of the same things that we did on the island. It was like coming back to my roots or something. Things like hacky sack (laughing), drinking at the mountain.
Carm: Lindsay was actually doing writing at the time, and I was a writing major in University, so it was always good to converse with fellow writers.
Lindsay: And then we went out a lot, I think that’s one thing we had in common.
Carm: I was new to town, and she had been here a few years already. It was a way to get to know the city. We went out a lot - to places we don’t go anymore. Remember the Stone Temple? Who goes there? No one goes there.
Lindsay: We didn’t really want to go there.
What’s the last thing he/she did to make you smile?
Carm: On our way here, we were saying, are we going to be that boring couple? She was like “no, are we boring?” We go through waves. We’ll fight and then we’ll make each other laugh. We’re a normal couple.
Lindsay: We’re pretty much always laughing.
What are some special moments or memories that you still talk about?
Lindsay: The week after we met in the park, we ended up planning a road trip to Tofino and we tried to get other people involved, but no one else showed up. That was a really fun time. We found a martini bar, and it was just an amazing situation because they had this cello player and she was singing along with a guitar player and they were playing all these old songs like Stereophonics and stuff like that, and the whole bar was singing. So it was one of those amazing things that you come across, on this weird trip. And then we to Tofino and there were weird instances like this guy came up in this hospital gown and was like “Do you know where the hospital is?”
Carm: We get really competitive; it gets in the way of our relationship. Doesn’t it?
Lindsay: We get addictions into little games. We’ll keep score forever, just playing and playing.
Carm: We’re always fighting about who kissed who first. I think she kissed me first because she was drunk. But she’s always going to say the opposite.
Lindsay: I know where it was, but he thought I kissed him, but I know that he kissed me.
Carm: This is going to be really embarrassing. I still hold that she kissed me. I was drunk. We were waiting in line.
Lindsay: You leaned in though. I remember this clearly.
Carm: It was unintentional, that sounds so bad. We fight about some dumb things, I think its’ because we’re so competitive.
Lindsay: Its fun how we get into the games, because I win.
Carm: The only game she wins at is Connect Four. I don’t know why. Then there was scrabble proposal. The search for the ring lasted two months and I had to go through like all these hoops. They screwed up the diamond; they screwed up everything. I was stressed out by the end of it.
Lindsay: I knew that we were coming to the point where we were going to get married eventually.
Carm: I just wanted to get the proposal done and over with. The day I got the ring, I wanted to take her out for a walk on the seawall, or for dinner somewhere. That day after work I suggested a walk, but she was too tired. So then I said “OK, are you hungry? Let’s go for dinner.” And she said “Well, let’s just go home, I’m not feeling it.” So I thought maybe after dinner at home, we’ll go for a walk; that was my plan. We went home, made dinner and as soon as dinner was over, Lindsay changes into her pyjamas. So I said “No walk tonight?” and I’m stressing out. I just felt that I needed to get this done today; I can’t wait another day.
I realized, that I was just going to have to come up with something. So I set up the scrabble board. And by fluke I actually left a letter out and she stepped on it. And she said “Carm, were you using this Scrabble board?” And I replied “Yeah, if you find a piece, just put it back in the Scrabble board.” So she found the letter, put it back in, and sure enough she opens it up and she’s like “What’s this?” I just said, “Just, take the ring!” I was so stressed out. Then I collapsed, literally- I was so exhausted.
Lindsay: He was stressed out, he was just crashed on the couch and I was looking at him and saying “awwww…” and then called my mom.
Carm: That was ridiculous, and that’s why we’re not getting married. We’re going to go, what are we doing?
Lindsay: We’re going to elope.
Carm: We’re going to elope. We saw her sister’s wedding, and they were so stressed out. It’s unreal.
Where do you go on dates?
Carm: We’re really into food right now. So we go into different restaurants, try stuff at home. Lindsay is trying review writing to see if that’s something she’s into, so we’ve been focusing on that. We try to support each other in the things that we do, as an individual.
Lindsay: We go to a lot of galleries. He’s been busy with school. We went to Van Dusen Gardens. We got into gardens this year, UBC Gardens, Botanical Gardens.
Carm: We got into hiking at the beginning of the year. I like going and doing the outdoorsy things. Lindsay doesn’t. That’s a big part of our relationships. We’re not the kind of couple that does everything all the time together. We’re completely different; it’s just a lot of compromise. It’s the only way we can get along. (Lindsay (laughing): No!) It is.
What is the secret to your relationship?
Lindsay: I think we change. When we first started going out, Carm was into arts, he was going to be an artist or an animator. And then he started studying marketing, something totally different. I did the same thing: I was writing and then went into Art History. You change over nine years and you have to either accept it or you’re going to break up. When he first started studying marketing, I didn’t like it. But I accepted it, because he’s a good person and we have fun together. You have to support each other in each person’s interests as you grow.
Carm: Marketing was a segue way to move my creativity from just strictly arts, into some other industry, and I had to explain that to her. We’re not static people, we’ve totally changed in the nine years we’ve been together.
Lindsay: I was nineteen when I met him so I thought, this is really young, I really like him and I thought that he would be the person that I would spend my life with. I knew, but I didn’t trust it, because I was so young. I used to say that I met him at the wrong time, but then we just kept growing together.
Carm: She always told me she didn’t want to get married, when she was younger, but I guess at that time you don’t think about those kinds of things. But we get along so well, that I can’t really imagine any one else I could be as compatible with. It’s just that easy.
Is love a four-letter word?
Carm: It’s sharing your life together. And knowing that you can lean on each other when you need to during the tough times, and still be competitive for fun when you want to.
I have a time machine – what is the one thing that you would tell yourself about your partner when you met?
Lindsay: To trust the feelings that I had, even if I was only nineteen.
Carm: That Lindsay doesn’t like doing dishes. That was the first thing that popped in my mind.
What is the one thing he/she does that makes you crazy?
Carm: We constantly fight about chores. We’re probably going to fight about this later today actually.
Lindsay: He always wakes me up really early. He wakes up and he’s really energetic, always bugging me. Drives me nuts.
Carm: Another thing that bugs me is that she wakes up early in the weekdays to get to work and she’s the most ridiculously loud person in the mornings. I’m just getting you back on the weekends. Lindsay eats funny (laughing) I don’t know. We fought about that a few days ago (laughing.)
Lindsay: Carm does more dishes than me.
Carm: I have a suspicion that she doesn’t do the dishes so that I get sick of doing the dishes and fix our dishwasher. It’s my conspiracy theory.
Lindsay: Yeah, ok this is what drives me crazy. Carm takes so much time to make decisions about buying something. He has to research it, visit it. We’ve been looking for a dishwasher for like a year and haven’t bought one.
What do you do to cheer each other up?
Lindsay: We always make each other say sorry. We make each other say sorry then we always have to say what for.
Carm: We fight about apologizing first and then eventually we realize how stubborn both of us are.
Lindsay: We get over it fast. We’ve never had a fight that lasted more than a day. It’s always over in the morning.
Carm: Is it?
Lindsay: Yeah.
Words and Interview by Adina Spivak. Photos by Christine McAvoy.
