The Investing is Awesome column (the thing you're reading) shares weekly tips on how to make your money become more money, but one of the first steps in getting your finances in order is to not waste cash on things that are total and utter scams. And most sheet sets are a complete and utter scam.
Over at my Equity.Guru site, we noticed this week that Retailer JC Penney is offering refunds to customers who bought their towel and comforter sets recently that appear to not be quite as advertised. Their 'Royal Velvet' Egyptian cotton bath towels and the 'Damask Stripe' Egyptian cotton comforter sets have been taken off shelves as Penney has been unable to determine if they're indeed Egyptian cotton.
If only that were a unique situation. Bed Bath & Beyond, Wal-Mart, and Target have also reportedly had problems with similar products recently, all coming from one of India's largest textile suppliers, Welspun India Ltd.
Welspun says their products are legit Egyptian cotton, but can't point to any actual evidence of that. Because, scam.
Egyptian cotton claims are always a bit shady these days, as a lot of that products has no relation to Egypt at all, and some that does is of lesser quality than that which was typically sold as Egyptian.
Then you get the crappy brands like Hotel Collection, that mark their products as 'Egyptian Quality' rather than Egyptian cotton, despite that not being in any way a thing.
“These buckets of pig vomit, these are Prada quality. You should buy them.”
“Really? Because I imagine Prada makes the best quality pig vomit buckets.”
“I'm sure they do. Should I wrap them up?”
The authenticity of cotton is only one way that sheet manufacturers and retailers are ripping you off – repeatedly, shamelessly, and seemingly without any concern from regulators. The most widespread, ongoing, and blatant lie being served to consumers is that a sheet set can have a higher than 400 thread count.
Thread count relates to how many threads are found in a square inch of the fabric, with the 190 or 200 count you get in 'muslin' sheets being the base level. The more threads, the softer the fabric, or so the marketing goes.
50 years ago, 180 thread count was the maximum possible. And certainly technology has allowed sheets to become finer and higher quality since then. But some companies now claim thread counts as high as 1200, and some online spam artists even go as high as 3000. Why not a million, guys? That'd be SUPER comfy.
These people are, of course, filthy liars.
Scott Tannen, CEO of linen company Boll & Branch, told Business Insider a few years ago, “There's a maximum umber of threads that can fit into a square inch of fabric. Depending on the type of cotton used, that number is generally not more than 400.”
Consumer Reports says likewise. So how do these companies get away with claiming more?
Basically, each thread can consist of four 'plies', or smaller strands of low quality material that are twisted together to make a thread. So a 1200 thread count on the Amazon website would more likely be a 300 count product that is being packaged to look better to a dumbass consumer.
This would be like a toilet paper producer selling you a pack of 12 rolls, but saying that because each of those is 3-ply, it's actually 36 rolls. It would be like a realtor putting six mattresses in a basement and calling that 'six bedrooms', or a chef counting the grains of rice in your starter and claiming it's a 4,000 course meal. It's a fraud.
Here's a great example on Amazon right now: A 6-piece 1500 thread count 'Egyptian quality' bed sheet set that is actually microfibre. No cotton to speak of, Egyptian or otherwise, and 'Egyptian quality' is, as discussed earlier, not a thing. They're a sweat inducing, low quality dumpster fire of a product, not a luxury sheet set. But the company sends out discount products to 'coupon reviewers' who duly give the product high ratings and Amazon doesn't care because they move.
So how do you figure out if you're being scammed?
The first way is to ensure you always assume you are, indeed, being lied to.
The manufacturer is supposed to clearly state how many plys went into the product, on the packaging itself. If they're stating it's a 2-ply product, halve whatever the stated thread count is. If they're saying it's 3-ply, drop it by two thirds.
This product, from Thomas Gene, claims to be Egyptian Cotton (made in China), claims 1000 thread count (though reviewers claim it feels rough and takes many washes to get comfortable), has 'sateen' in its title but the Q&A section of its Amazon page says it isn't sateeen at all, and doesn't mention ply count anywhere. And it's only $140 per set.
In contrast, this product, from Pinzon, makes it clear that it's a single-ply yarn, which makes its 400 thread count much more believable. Price: $40.
If you really want to be sure, look for organic cotton rather than Egyptian cotton, which can be stretched to mean a few different types of cotton grown in Pakistan, China and India.
DO NOT TRUST YOUR FINGERS – Many people will go into a store, slip a corner of the sheet set open, and run their fingers along it to see if it's soft.
What you're actually feeling is the wax and polish applied at the end of the product process, to give it a softer feel, and that washes away the first time through your washing machine.
Checking the stitching for uniformity is a good starting point. Any TC number over 400 is bullshit, so don't forget that, and look for the single-ply products, as they'll be far more breathable and not turn your bed into a sweat pool.
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INVESTOR UPDATE:
A few weeks back we mentioned a company to watch in Arcturus Growthstar Technologies (AGS.C), a local company on the markets that was into building vertical farms in US urban areas, using government grants and, on the side, developing marijuana growlights that were winning awards and customers.
At the time, AGS stock was selling at $0.095. Three weeks later, it's selling for $0.175 (at the time of writing), a 94% increase and our first near double in just over a month. Congrats to any readers who have taken advantage.
In new AGS news, the company has invested in a portfolio of apps it says will bring near term revenue, which relate to the marijuana industry, and that's fueling the charge.
Also notable, Richmond-based children's clothing company Peekaboo Beans (PBB.V), which we mentioned in our first column, has finally listed on the exchange and is up from $0.90 to $1.10 in a few days.
Lithium ion battery technology company Nano One Materials (NNO.C) has also had a great run since we mentioned it, climbing 21%, despite a several-day sell off from a large US investor. I hear buzz that more grant money is coming to help build out the company pilot plant, which is great news for investors if true.
Not running as hot is Integra Gold (ICG.V), which dropped 30% (along with most gold miners) when some rich bonehead put $1.5 billion of gold contracts onto the market all at once, but ICG has marched back pretty quickly to now only be 17% lower than when we discussed it. Staying long on that one.
In play this week is Calyx Bio-Ventures (CYX.V): This one is a bit of a mystery in that the stock has tripled in the last few days with no news out of the company at all. In fact, it has run so hard, the company was asked by regulators to release a statement about the situation, denying it had anything to do with them.
Adding to the mystery, nobody is too sure what they do right now. It was a biofuel company a few years ago, then switched to cannabis software services, took a right turn at real estate software services, and now have something new that they're very excited about. Whatever it is, it's taken the stock from $0.015 to $0.045 in a couple of days. More to come in the days ahead.
Lastly, Brazilian interactive studio Ydreams (YD.V) jumped this week from $0.36 to $0.45, causing a lot of people to take notice. No news to go with that and there's almost no stock up for sale on the market, so any sort of demand will ramp it up hard.
-- Chris Parry
FULL DISCLOSURE: I own some Peekaboo Beans stock, picked up on the open market this week. Am also long on Arcturus, Integra and Ydreams.
