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OPINION: A guy running around in a jersey and boxer-briefs is not a streaker

B.C. Lions’ Marcell Young (8) knocks down a spectator that ran onto the field of play during the first half of a CFL football game against the Montreal Alouettes in Vancouver, on Saturday June 16, 2018. THE CANADIAN PRESS/Darryl Dyck I’m calling it.

 B.C. Lions' Marcell Young knocks down a spectator (streaker?) that ran onto the field. THE CANADIAN PRESS/Darryl DyckB.C. Lions’ Marcell Young (8) knocks down a spectator that ran onto the field of play during the first half of a CFL football game against the Montreal Alouettes in Vancouver, on Saturday June 16, 2018. THE CANADIAN PRESS/Darryl Dyck

I’m calling it.

This is the week the definition of streaking jumped the shark – almost fully clothed.

A man wearing a jersey, hat and a rather modest pair of bright blue boxer-briefs was quickly dubbed a streaker after providing what may have been the only true highlight reel moment of the BC Lions home opener.

Cranky old GenXers like me remember the first time we saw the absurd image of Fonzie waterskiing in a leather jacket.

We joined the continent in heaving a collective sigh and saying, for that, Fonz you deserve to be Great White Chow.

By the transitive property of not dressing (or undressing) for the task at hand, you, unruly football fan, deserve to be stripped of the title “streaker”.

This is the mainstream legacy media’s fault, of course.

We decided to award the Silly Sprinter from Surrey an honorific he did not earn, and in the process lowered the bar for streaking everywhere and dealt a major blow to popular culture.

YVR Journalism Twitter, myself included, has devoted much time this week to the thorough, thoughtful analysis of the question, “Is a guy running around in a jersey and boxer-briefs a streaker?”

At one point some media outlets decided to do an odd two-step, both backing off and doubling down by going with the hybrid “semi-streaker”.

Hard pass.

Streaking, arguably, had its Golden Age in the ‘70s, when Time reported it was a growing trend in the LA area. It seemed that just about every major sport had an incident or two. Hell, one even showed up during the Oscars.

In the days before HBO, live sporting events offered the best chance of seeing a little skin on the tube.

The defining characteristic of streaking was, and remains, nudity.

The only allowable gear is sneaker and/or socks to allow for some grip while trying to evade security. A streaker who interrupted an LA Kings game in the ‘70s was said to have chosen shoes that were sure to offer firm footing on the ice.

If the media has forgotten what makes a streaker a streaker, the hardcore practitioners of saucy sprinting have not.

As recently as this January a man ran onto the pitch during an Australia - England cricket match in Perth. Buck. Damn. Naked. That’s how you do’er mate!

I will concede that as language evolves we might, at times, allow for stretching the definition of streaker to include a runner in undies only, but I do so under protest.

The other characteristic of streaking, of course, is the quest for some fleeting media fame. Going viral the kids call it.

And, now that lawyers have entered the scene, the BC Place incident looks to have a long story arc, so brace for more news coverage including a bunch of “was that guy even a streaker?” think pieces.