Canada’s official endorsement of this Unicorn Poutine has citizens revolting

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Halifax has its donair. B.C. has its Nanaimo Bar. And while we all know poutine hails from Quebec, we embrace the dish nationwide.

But when the official Twitter account for the country – the aptly named @canada account – endorses something out of Toronto called Unicorn Poutine, well, that’s just gross, eh?!

Poutine on its own isn’t necessarily “magical,” but it is one of Canada’s contemporary culinary calling cards. How many of you welcome visitors from abroad to Vancouver and they immediately request you get them some poutine? Even when you explain that poutine isn’t really Vancouver’s strong suit (now, sushi, on the other hand, well…we rule) it’s still what is expected of Canadian food.

The poutine in question that’s marring our global reputation comes from the Enchanted Poutinerie in Toronto, and it’s covered in a cornucopia of coloured cheese that one Twitter user likened to a bunch of melted crayons.

Here’s how its brave (foolish?) creator describes the dish on Instagram:

“When people think of unicorns they think of a special, mythical creatures that symbolize magic, miracles and enchantment. Our Unicorn Poutine is the perfect way to add all of that goodness into your life! Our fresh Rainbow Quebec Curds and Multi-Colour Gravy (on top of our delicious fresh fries) will send your tastebuds into a magical place, making you believe that miracles can happen. As for enchantment, @enchanted.poutinerie is the only place you can find a poutine that will leave you in a place of wonder after you’re done. Bring a friend and share in the majesty of ‘The Unicorn’ and one of our other delicious concoctions. We’ll be waiting!”

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Sure, we may go Instagram bananas over grilled cheese sandwiches that offer us a rainbow cheese pull at the Richmond Night Market or pickle cotton candy at the PNE, but this is some next level stuff that is all kinds of wrong.

And Twitter agrees, using this Unicorn Poutine as an argument for Quebec separatism, among other no-holds-barred nope, never, stop it objections.

The Enchanted Poutinerie even goes the extra kilometre, with their shop boasting a couch and chairs (and a giant teddy bear) that seems to match their colourful “unicorn” cheese and gravy. Plus they’ve got a menu of 20 poutines, including vegan and dessert options.

Since we’re out here on the left coast, far from the insanity of The Enchanted Poutinerie, trying the Unicorn Poutine is a non-issue. We’ll have to make do with the poutine we’ve got. Where to? Some of the enduring favourite spots are:

  • Fritz European Fry House
  • Frenchies Diner
  • La Belle Patate Vancouver
  • Belgian Fries
  • Frites Vancouver
  • The Flying Pig
  • Anny’s Dairy Bar
  • Edible Canada

 

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Lindsay is the Managing Editor of Vancouver Is Awesome, and the co-host and co-producer of the Vancouver Is Awesome Podcast. A fifth generation Vancouverite and life-long foodie, Lindsay also serves as a judge for the Vancouver Magazine Restaurant Awards. Previously the Food Editor of Daily Hive, Senior Editor of Vancity Buzz, and Editor-in-Chief of LAist.com, in her past life in L.A. she earned an MA in English, attended culinary school, and was an English professor. Lindsay's first published piece was December 1980 in The Province; it was her letter to Santa. E-mail: lindsay@vancouverisawesome.com // Twitter/Instagram: @squashblossom