Jim Benning is in a tough position heading into this year’s trade deadline: his contract ends this season and has yet to be renewed. Any moves that Benning makes at the deadline may just be to set up the Canucks’ next general manager for the future.
Of course, there’s still a possibility that Benning gets re-signed and remains the Canucks’ general manager next season. There are arguments to be made for both sides. But what if Jim Benning got the chance to make his own argument for being re-signed? And what if he did it to the melody of early-2000’s trip-hop classic “Clint Eastwood” by Gorillaz?
If you have asked yourself that exact question, then that’s really weird. That’s a weird question to ask.
Fortunately for you, however, I have answered that question. If Jim Benning were to drop some bars over Damon Albarn’s beat, it would look and sound, a little something like this. Here is Pazz it to Buliz - “Jim Draftgood”:
Here are the lyrics:
Pazz it to Buliz - “Jim Draftgood”
[Hook]
Fans ain't happy, the Canucks are bad
But the fun times are coming back
We’re useless, but not for long
The future is coming on
They ain't happy, the team is bad
But the fun times are coming back
We’re useless, but not for long
The future is coming on
It's coming on, it's coming on
It's coming on, it's coming on
[Verse]
Finally, Linden let me out of my cage
Now, my name is Jim Benning and I’m turning the page
Nah, I couldn't be stilled, now you’re gonna be thrilled
I'm good at rebuilds, and the cupboard is filled
Intangibles, bet you didn't think of those, I always do
Every interview, look, I'll break it all down for you
We sit and lose to pick and choose ahead of different crews
Tough to do when everybody else is tanking too
Picked a few trading down, now I’m picking two
(Like Kris and Palmu) We go for speed and skill
Physical? Maybe, clinical finish is more critical
The pinnacle when the draft board’s hazy
Guessin’ that some of you are questioning the mindset
You’re upset that Olli Juolevi was a high pick
But trust it, we got this, all about development
Part of the plannin’, Olli and Virtanen
[Hook]
Fans ain't happy, the Canucks are bad
But the fun times are coming back
We’re useless, but not for long
The future is coming on
They ain't happy, the team is bad
But the fun times are coming back
We’re useless, but not for long
The future is coming on
It's coming on, it's coming on
It's coming on, it's coming on
[Verse]
Scouting, the basics: puck skills and skating
I know what you want is, first pick Rasmus
Dahlin, we have him or we don’t, that’s the lottery
I'm all in, but that’s no guarantee where we’re gonna be
Need a top D, keep our eyes on the prize
I never compromise, developing our guys
I draft to maximize, now I hafta be apprised
Through Brackett, he can back it
with the scouting he provides with me as a guide
Y'all don’t see it now, 'cause you don't see with your eye
You perceive from behind: that’s the after
So I'ma stick around with Judd and be a drafter
Pick a few steals, so all’a y’all will remember
That I got this, the prospect list
So we can survive when we say, “Goodbye, twins”
Always remember who it was that said
Why isn’t anybody taking Kole Lind
[Hook]
Fans ain't happy, the Canucks are bad
But the fun times are coming back
We’re useless, but not for long
The future is coming on
They ain't happy, the team is bad
But the fun times are coming back
We’re useless, but not for long
The future is coming on
It's coming on, it's coming on
It's coming on, it's coming on
The future is Pettersson
Is Jon Dahlen, is Kole Lind
The future is Gadjovich,
Is Juolevi, is Gaudette
The future
