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Spitballin' on funk, forwards, faceoffs and Fox

Spitballin’ (or Super Pass It To Bulis: All In, if you love adventurous acronymizing) is a feature that allows us to touch on a multitude of things really fast, because in the world of hockey, there are always lots of things to find and colour .
Spitbalin
Spitbalin

Spitballin’ (or Super Pass It To Bulis: All In, if you love adventurous acronymizing) is a feature that allows us to touch on a multitude of things really fast, because in the world of hockey, there are always lots of things to find and colour. Here are a few quick topics.

Radim Vrbata could have been a funk ambassador

As a black hockey fan, I am occasionally struck by the sport's utter funklessness. It's very troubling. So when I heard that the Canucks would be going to personally-selected individual goal songs, but the fans would be voting on Radim Vrbata's (because, what, he doesn't listen to music?), I got briefly excited at the opportunity to pump a little funk into Rogers Arena.

Maybe Vrbata's goal song could be Zapp classic, Funky Bounce. Imagine if every time he tickled the twine, this kicked in:

Or how about Funkadelic's Standing On the Verge of Getting it On, one of the funkiest jams ever cut? (Skip ahead 25 seconds, past the weird chipmunk voice singing about urination. Funkadelic did a lot of drugs.) 

I dreamed of a world in which every Radim Vrbata goal lit up Rogers Arena with the funk -- the whole funk. The horn sounds, and then: 20,000 people ride the groove, jam on the one, get comfy in the pocket and flex their funkentelechy. Radim Vrbata as funk ambassador. Damn, son. That's a Hell of a thing. 

But alas, my dream died when Vrbata's final four options were announced, and they were all lame rock songs played without an ounce of funk. The winner, Heavy How You Like Me Now, is a fine song, but it's about as funky as a baptist church choir.

On the bright side, at least it isn't that Jesse Roper song.

But seriously, this goal song thing sucks

Now, I don't want this to sound like sour grapes just because I didn't get my funky way, so maybe I should have led with this one because now it definitely sounds like sour grapes, but seriously, this goal song thing sucks.

Just pick one song, Canucks. One good, catchy song that we're happy to hear and the opposition grows to hate. Then, when the team scores a goal, play it and let the crowd dance a little. How is this so hard?

Shut up, Jeffler

The Canucks have a bit of a logjam at winger right now, which partly explains why Jake Virtanen has only played in one of the club's first four games. (The other reason being Willie Desjardins' seeming "one teenager at a time" rule. It's been Jared McCann's turn.) 

That in mind, Jeff Veillette, formerly of Leafs Nation but now manning the ship at Canucks Army, has a point when he argues that if the Canucks aren't going to use Jake Virtanen in a pretty substantial role, they should stiop mucking about and send him back to junior right now. He needs to play. From Canucks Army:

If you add a returning Chris Higgins to the mix, things get even more crowded up front for the Canucks, which could limit Virtanen's minute's further. Though, it's not like they aren't already moving in that direction; he's been projected to play again tomorrow, but only in a fourth line capacity.

I understand the argument against sending Virtanen back to junior. He's played a few years there, shown that he can produce, and at this point, could coast on being the physical specimen that he is and barely use an ounce of talent down the stretch. But the reality is simple; even in that worst case scenario, six months of care-free, casual hockey, he still has the benefit of playing many more minutes and many more games. 

This is a perfectly reasonable argument. But I don't agree.

(I'm not the only one. The Canucks subreddit's link to this post is titled: "The Leafs blogger at CanucksArmy wants Virtanen to go back to the WHL" Ouch. The Leafs blogger. One disagreeable opinion and his Canucks fandom is revoked. That's some quality shade you're throwing, Redditors.)

I'm with Jeffler that the Canucks will do very little for Virtanen's development if he's the thirteenth forward all season long. You can learn a lot from watching the game from the press box, but doing is always better than observing. But we're not talking about the whole season here. Virtanen is still in a nine-game tryout. And if, during that tryout, one or two Canuck forwards goes down with a long-term injury, then suddenly, you're gonna look pretty stupid for sending Virtanen back to junior when he could have been called upon to replace a regular NHLer.

If, by Game 9, Virtanen's still sitting around, put him on a plane. But until then, let's hold off on buying his ticket.

Canucks' faceoff formation

The Canucks run a lot of set plays off offensive-zone faceoffs. It's usually the Sedins, who return from their summers in Sweden with a fresh playbook every year. But other lines try stuff too. Here's a great example of one, examined in this short, informative video by Sean Johnson:

It's defended well by the Kings, who manage to slow up the shot with an attempted block, which lets their defenders clear the shooting lane so Jonathan Quick see it. Nothing doing. But I bet you this play works at least once this year.

Dane Fox headed to Kalamazoo

Remember Dane Fox? A few years ago, his final season of junior had everybody talking about him, and many clamoring for the Canucks to sign him. But others were warning that Fox's impressive overage season wouldn't translate to NHL success. Fast forward to now and I think we need to give the skeptics the win on this one. For the second straight season, Fox has been sent down to the Kalamazoo Wings of the ECHL -- the minors for the minors.

Utica Comets Director of Hockey Operations Pat Conacher announced today that the Vancouver Canucks have reassigned forward Dane Fox to the ECHL’s Kalamazoo Wings.

Fox, 22, finished second on the Kalamazoo Wings with 30 goals during his rookie season last year. He finished with 45 points (30-15-45), good for third most on the team. He also recorded 110 penalty minutes in 70 games played.

At 22, Fox is still young, but if he can't crack the Comets in consecutive years, I doubt we'll be seeing him in a Canucks game any time soon.