I am a 23-year-old dude and I have never had sex sober. Am I an alcoholic?
Whether are not you are an alcoholic has a lot more to do with sex. You are a 23-year-old person, aren’t you all fucking alcoholics? I know I was.
I’m sorry you have never had sex sober, because sex sober is better than sex on the most top-tier of drugs. Your senses are not numbed by chemicals and everything is coming up crystal clear. Orgasms are wild.
You know when you are drunk and trying to cum and it feels like you are starting up the Volvo you haven’t driven in two weeks in the dead of winter? Like come on, just start. Just GO.
Sober sex rules. The car starts every time.
I’m not in AA or anything, I just really want you to feel every ounce of semen fly out your penis.
Have you ever been in love or in a serious relationship? If the answer is no, then you probably are not an alcoholic. You are just a confused, insecure young person who needs the liquid courage to get you laid. That’s life. You are fine.
However, if you have been in a serious, long-term relationship and have never had sex sober, then there is something wrong here. The bonus of the serious relationship (besides being in love with the person you like most in the world) is having sex on the regular. Ergo, you are drunk way more than you should be. You can not possibly be drunk for late morning sex? If you are, then yes, you should probably go to an AA meeting and see if you a spot a version of yourself in 20 years picking through the communal cookies.
My girlfriend will not let me meet her friends. We have been together for almost four months now. She avoids it at any cost and always finds an excuse. Is she embarrassed of me or do her friends just not exist? Who is the loser here?
Dr. Helen Fisher did this study for Match.com a few years back called “Singles in America.” She surveyed 25,000 people and found that 59 per cent of men and 49 per cent of women believe in love at first sight. The survey also found that men fall in love faster than women, which makes sense seeing how visually stimulated men generally are. When I interviewed Fisher last year, she told me, “In my studies, questioning 25,000 American people, I have found that men fall in love more often. They fall in love sooner; when they meet someone they are in love with, they want to introduce her to friends to and family sooner; they want move-in sooner."
You might feel like it is time to meet her friends, but maybe she is not ready. Maybe she wants to make sure this is actually going to stick before she bothers bringing you around to her coveted circle? Have you been a promising boyfriend or have you been a flakey pile? Did you start with courtship or late night sexts? She probably is jaded and isn’t going to bother relying on you until she knows she really can. I also can only assume that you do not spend that much time together, or when you do it is in private or else this would not even be an issue. Is she ashamed of you? Perhaps. But that’s on her, not you. Sometimes we fuck scum. Sometimes we date dorks. Sometimes we even disgust ourselves. Do you want to be with someone that insecure? If she thinks you are too mortifying to meet her friends, do you really want to be with someone like that? I mean, come on.
Just ask her what her damage is. She might surprise you with her answer.
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