I'm an 18-year-old boy. My penis is about 6 inches and that is killing me. I watch porn and confront those massive penises and I'm like, "Is this a dick I have or a popsicle!!?". To make it even worse, my penis has an eggplant black color, which is not very tempting. I always worry if my monster is going to satisfy my partner in the future. Please don't say that my penis is of average size and that is OK because with all the porn videos around, I think girls expect more of a man's penis.
–Help!
Last year, Blake Buttler wrote this hilarious article for VICE, “Owning Porn Used To Mean Something, Dammit”. He laments about the days of pornographic magazines and having to use your mind to masturbate, not your iPhone. Finding a Hustler crumbled in the bushes on the way home from school was like finding buried treasure, and you carefully shared it with all your friends. Buttler remembers masturbating to the same magazine with a Jenny McCarthy spread in it about 50 times. “Each time was different,”he wrote.
Today, porn is like water. (In fact, here in Los Angeles, there’s probably more porn being produced than there is available clean water.) Porn is a lucrative yet contentious industry that I have attempted to “get to the bottom of”many times, in depth, without an answer. It’s perpetually surrounded with controversy and opposing opinions, as is any debate involving sexuality. However, the way young people consume porn now is like this endless buffet of pussy, tits and bleached, smiling assholes. Millennials are gluttonous. You are all obese from porn. (Too much of anything becomes unhealthy. Some men are going #NoWanks. This is basically a porn diet to prove a point.)
Porn videos mean you watch the act of fucking, where as a photo means you jerk off to a model in a still. There’s so much more imagination when jerking off to a photograph. You have to create the situation with your brain and not just press play. Plus, men rely on dick identity when watching pornography, which is why so many of them can’t get off on lesbian scenes. They require the dick in the clip to share the same skin color as their own. (Why are you watching white guys fuck? Oh right, I forgot…“porn is racist”.)
So, when you go onto RedTube and watch whatever is the closest click away, the chances of you identifying with that dick are minimal. Plus, your mind is lazy now. Pornography is supposed to be adult entertainment, not educational material for 18-year-old men who still willingly and subconsciously refer to themselves as “boys”. Remember when teenagers learned about sex from actually fooling around? Of course you don’t.
Look, comparing pornography to the sex you are going to eventually have is like comparing a one of Thomas Moran’s oil paintings to the forest behind your high school. The painting is impossibly beautiful and looks so real, yet when you run into the actual woods you may fall over a log or get shit on by a bird, but at least you know you are there living it and it feels really good.
Girls don’t expect as much as you think. In fact, it’s probably less. The thing is that sex is supposed to be awkward and trying and fun and fucked up, but if you spend too much time staring at the hired actors in pornography and comparing your dick to theirs, you are going to go insane. I have many male friends who are porn actors and you know why they do porn? Because they have dicks that are above average in size. It’s pretty much the only requirement, everything else can be learned. Mainstream porn is about big, bouncing tits, monster cocks and tanned, hairless skin. That’s not what life looks like: it’s simply a depiction of fantasy. No girl you are going to fuck will take one look at your penis and say, “Um, this does not look like James Dean’s dick. I’m out of here.”
Learn how to eat pussy, be nice outside of the sheets and intense between them and you will be fine.
Love,
Mish
