Is there any good way to ask a girl out when she is working? I have a massive crush on this bartender at the restaurant down the street.
–Bar Crush
Dear Bar Crush,
Let me tell you a little story. When I used to work the brunch shift at a restaurant in my old neighbourhood, I had a male acquaintance and his girlfriend come in. I gave them a good booth and talked with them about whatever stupid social things we had in common and they were ultimately easy customers. Until the end of the meal, when the guy decided to ask me to have a threesome with him and his girlfriend while pushing his plate of unfinished French toast towards me.
Gross.
Do you really think I want to commit to guest-starring in your relationship-mending-sex-session while I'm standing here in an apron at my job that I hate? Hell no. When a woman is working and busy, the last thing she really needs is some socially unaware dork interrupting her job. Like anything else in life, use your brain and social awareness. If she is running around on a busy brunch shift, then she probably doesn't have time to chat. If you tip her 10 per cent, she's never going to call you on the number you left her on the bill.
However, maybe go in and sit at the bar when she is working during a slow hour (right before the dinner rush or mid-afternoon) and just talk with her. Do you feel anything happening? Is she enjoying this conversation or dipping out to the kitchen for emergencies that clearly aren't happening? Or she is engaging in your conversation and flirting along?
Remember, she may just be acting nice to you because you are her customer, so I ultimately suggest just bucking up and asking her out and if she says "no,” then you better find a new bar to drink at.
Can every woman actually squirt or does anyone with an OCD, Larry David neurotic brain just get in the way of the possibility?
–OCD Brain
Dear OCD Brain,
The whole female squirting thing has been fetishized, romanticized and stigmatized for so long.
Here's the latest that has been discovered. Recently, a French team of researchers led by Samuel Salama from Hooital Privé de Party II gathered seven women who claimed to have experienced large levels of squirting when stimulated during sex. The team conducted pelvic ultrasound scans after the women would urinate and during sexual equitation just before and after the squirting event. Even though each woman had an empty bladder before sexual stimulation, the bladder filled up, squirted that out, and then appeared empty again.
Conclusion: squirting is just urine.
The researchers also analyzed the chemical concentrations in the urine as well as the squirting samples and they found that prostatic-specific antigen (PSA), which is a protein produced in the "female prostate", showed up only in five of the women's samples after sexual stimulation.
Basically, the study realized that squirting is the involuntary emission of urine during sexual activity and even though there is a small dash of PSA in there too, it's just good ol' fashion piss.
