My friend recently and drunkenly informed me I was being a douche for treating fuck buddies too nicely. She said it’s a douche move to tell a person you’re not down for anything serious but then have sex with them like you like them and maybe get some food or something. Her words got in my head and now I’m in this weird shitty guilty limbo and it blows. Basically, I just want to have sex, but I don’t want to be an asshole while I do it. Where’s the fun or honour in that? Admittedly, there have been times even when I have said straight up, I’m not interested in anything serious, prior to sex or directly after, and had some issues with “clingers”. My question is: am I doing something wrong? Should I feel bad?
–Potential Douche
Oh, Potential Douche.
Hi! I know you. I mean, I don’t know you, but I know you. We all do. We’ve all either been you or been on the receiving end of you. Baby, it’s okay. You are not a douche at all.
Your friend is wrong. In the case of casual sex, you have done good by letting the women you sleep with know that you are not interested in a relationship. What else can you really do? Is it a crime for you to want casual sex and not have to invest yourself in a relationship?
Hell no.
That being said, most of the chicks you sleep with will not agree with me, which means you are going to have to deal with this reality. Just because you tell these women that you do not want anything more than great sex and maybe a meal or two, that does not mean that they will necessarily be able to curb the feelings they may have. If they like you, they like you. The actions of “clingers” is something you cannot control. Some “doctors” will blame the neediness of female clingers on hormones like oxytocin. I think that’s ridiculous.
The thing about relationships is that rarely do the two people involved hit a stride together and when they do, they link up and call it love. The romantic in me firmly believes that when you meet the right chick, you’ll want her to stick around, but for now, you haven’t. So, it’s okay to tell certain girls you have no interest in speaking with them when they have their clothes on. It’s your prerogative, and if they don’t like it, they can leave. Some will leave. Some will stay (getting off on mental torture is some chicks’ bread and butter). It will never be completely free of drama, but what in life is?
You are not a douche.
My girlfriend gets pissed off when I can’t stay hard. She’s smoking hot, and I love her to death, so I’m not sure what the fuck is going on here. I want to keep her happy, so are there any tricks for sustaining a solid cock?
–Medium Softy
I have so many questions. Has this happened with any other women in your life? Are your fantasies not being fulfilled? What kind of drugs do you do? Do you drink a lot? Does this happen when you are sober? These are all things a professional doctor will ask you, and I suggest you go to see one now.
In the meantime, there are endless tricks for maintaining a hard cock and they vary in severity. You could start easy, go the hippy route and do the recommended things like walk two miles every day, pelvic exercise, drink those tiny ginseng shooter things, take L-arginine or drink watermelon juice (also good for making your semen not taste like garbage juice).
Or you could try a cock ring. I like the Toro 2 by Lelo, but if you don’t have that kind of money to throw away on sex toys, you can get a cheap one from any sex store. Just ask the clerk.
Lastly, you could just buck up and go for the erectile dysfunction drugs. Levitra, Cialus and Viagra are the main contenders and they all work differently. However, these drugs will do nothing if your head is not in the right place.
Then, there’s the option of Bimix or Cavenject, an injection you mainline into your penis. You could be fucking a chicken’s anus and still maintain the best boner of your life.
However, the injections are not safe. Do not do this.
My ex-porn star friend used them and was hospitalized three times for priapism. Do you know what that is? You end up in the ER with an intern draining the blood from your erect penis with a giant needle. This is why my friend no longer does porn.
Also, your girlfriend is getting mad for two main reasons: 1) Sex is important and she wants you, and 2) no matter how many times you tell her it’s not her fault, she will still believe it is her fault.
Don’t be a tool and shut off. Talk to her. If she’s still with you, she obviously wants to help, so be totally honest.
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