Father’s Day takes place this Sunday, June 15, to celebrate dads both living and gone. In honour of the occasion, the Courier asked readers to share some of their most memorable moments and memories of their dads — and they didn’t let us down. From a tribute to a dad who didn’t blink an eye when his son announced he was gay to the mystery of a birthday card produced from a dying father’s hospital bed, our readers made it clear — they love their fathers.
• 30 Day Adventures blogger Marc Smith credits his dad, Ian, for passing on the skills he values most in his career and life today.
It’s been 14 years since my father passed away and like the 13 Father’s Days before, this one is bittersweet. Do I remember the father who taught and passed on to me many of the skills I now hold most valuable in my career and life? Or do I remember that he wasn’t able to put down the cigarette and choose a life with his family over nicotine?
The answer is I remember both. I celebrate the man who exemplified customer service and gracious hosting way before they were power buzzwords in the corporate suite. I strive to be as liked and respected as my father, while at the same time I remember that my father was frozen by fear — fear of the unknown, fear of not providing for his family and most of all fear of not mattering.
The greatest gifts my father gave me are so ingrained in who I am today I couldn’t separate them from my DNA if I tried. I am fiercely loyal and dedicated to my friends and colleagues and I strive to treat others as I hope to be treated, just like my father did.
Because I saw him stumble I refuse to let fear of the unknown stand in my way, but the greatest gift all that my father gave me was 100 per cent love. When I challenged him he stood steadfast, when I rebelled he pulled me back in line, when I came out as gay he hugged me and said that nothing had changed.
My father loved me and that is the gift I carry in my heart each and every day.
• Vancouver resident and Courier reader Alan Antasuda shared this story about his dad Alex.
One morning, my dad called asking me to help move a van full of flooring from the ground level to the third floor of an apartment complex he was working on. I made my way to where he was and when I got there I found two things: 1) there was no elevator, and 2) the van full of flooring was almost empty.
There was an older, disheveled man moving the packages of flooring from the van to the third floor apartment. Anyone who’s worked with flooring knows how heavy those packages are and this man was carrying two or three at a time. From that full van, I moved maybe five packages — the rest was him. I asked my dad who this man was as he did not speak much to me. Was he the owner of the apartment? Was he the complex manager?
My dad told me this guy was walking in the alley, pushing a cart looking for bottles and cans. The man asked my dad for change — in turn, my dad offered him a job.
He obliged and the hard work began. No joke, this man was working his butt off! No complaints, just sweat on his brow from honest work.
My dad paid him $40 and gave him another $10 to buy a meal. You’d never seen a man pushing a cart so happy. He told my dad he planned to buy much-needed shoes and socks at Army & Navy to keep his feet warm. My dad told him to come back the next day and he would find work for him to do if he wanted it. The man came back the following day and worked just as hard.
A little later my dad told me when the man came up asking for change he had three options:
- say no and turn away completely
- give him change not knowing what he’d do with it, or
- give him an opportunity and show him that someone’s willing to give him a chance.
Lesson learned, dad. Sometimes people on the outs need an opportunity to prove they’re more than what they show you on the outside. Providing that opportunity might not change a person’s life completely, but it may provide some much needed hope. And sometimes hope is what helps people get through.
My dad will always be a real life hero to me. Words will never be able to compliment the things he has taught me in life, I can only hope to live the example he’s been to me. (Happy 65th birthday Dad. I love you.)
• Steve Bodnar, vice-president of finance for Glacier Media, said his dad gave him a piece of advice when he was young that he never forgot. Bodnar noted it was a quote his dad had also held close since he was a child.
I have always thought this was a very wise quote and have never forgot it. I recited it a few years back and he was shocked that I had remembered it after all these years.
“Knowledge is like a watch — keep it in your pocket until someone asks you the time.”
• Vancouver publicist Rory Richards remembers a very special birthday surprise from her father not long before he passed away.
It was my 24th birthday. My dad was in palliative care and I had been his primary caretaker for three years leading up to this day. I went to synagogue that morning and when I was asked of my birthday plans I mentioned I was heading to the hospital later to spend some time with my dad.
When I arrived at the hospital, much to my surprise, my dad handed me a birthday card. He had been in hospital for a couple of weeks, and we had gone in unprepared to stay so long, so I was wondering how he had managed to get a hold of a birthday card for me. Maybe he bribed one of the nurses to go downstairs to the gift shop, I thought.
I opened the card and saw what appeared to be a bunch of random letters. They read: IWALDFTDWYCA24YAT.
A wave of sadness swept over me. I thought my dad had started to lose his mind. I had been forewarned by doctors that this was another stage of saying goodbye, and even though I knew it was coming, I wasn’t ready.
“Do you know what it says?” he asked with a mischievous smile.
“No, Pop. Not really,” I replied.
“It says: It was a lucky day for this dad when you came along 24- years ago today.” I started to laugh and cry at the same time. My beloved, clever Pop was still with me. He was just too weak to write out the full words.
I asked my dad later how he managed to get a birthday card from his deathbed. He said he didn’t know. That someone had dropped off a blank birthday card anonymously at the nurse’s station for him. The kind and forward-thinking stranger, who so thoughtfully dropped off that card, gave me one of my most beautiful moments with my dad, and the best birthday card a daughter could ask for.
