There are so many great apps out there besides Snapchat and Instagram, which could actually help improve your life. Get hip to it.
COMPANION
It’s nice to believe that the world is not a cruel place full of rape and murder, but it is. In my extreme opinion, all young women should be given knives and purse pistols, not support groups and trigger warnings. But not all girls are in good conscious, just like not all men are inherently evil, so guns and knives are not going to do anything up here in the land of the gunless. With recent serial attacks on women in the Oakridge area and girls being sexually assaulted and attacked in the bathroom at local nightclubs, we should all take extra precaution. Designed by some genius students at the University of Michigan, an app called Companion lets you reach out to your family, friends or public safety department to have them digitally keep track of you via live map while you travel alone. Whether you are jogging or hiking alone, driving overnight or just walking home, if you start running, drop your phone or do not make it to your destination in time, the app asks you if you are OK. If you do not respond within 15 seconds, it contacts your companions. The app also updates you on road conditions and other potential problems, so I highly recommend this for anyone, regardless of gender.
WHONOW
WhoNow is the app for those who can’t afford to whine to a therapist once a week about their love life. Through the app you make random, (sometimes) anonymous acquaintances to talk about your dates with, share stories and ask for advice. Instead of asking your clueless girlfriend for advice about the new person you are seeing, you can ask randoms who are not going to sugar coat the answer for you to keep the friendship safe. Objective and harsh criticism from a crowd you will never, ever see in person.
CLUE
I’ve tried a bunch of menstruation and ovulation apps, and none really compares with Clue. This German-made app allows you to track your cycle, fertility, PMS, sex life and personal health with an algorithm that personalizes to your body as you enter information about how you feel both physically and emotionally. This app is really impressive and direct (kind of like a German) while not hosting anything pink on the entire interface. With Clue, will always know exactly when to buy tampons.
SITORSQUAT
In the fake Seinfeld reunion on Curb Your Enthusiasm, George is all bummed because someone stole his iToilet app idea. It wasn’t Bernie Madoff. It was Charmin. The tissue company recently invented an app that let’s you find the nearest and cleanest bathroom no matter where you are on the continent.
BUMBLE
Bumble is this dating app that works kind of like the rest of the junk out there, except the female has to send the first message to her prospective love interest within 24 hours or else the connection is lost. (Haven’t lesbians been handling this for years?) Kind of like a sock hop in the 1950s when the church elders agreed to flip the tables and have the girls ask the boys to the dance.
