On Saturday, famous porn star and blogger Stoya accused her ex-boyfriend and iconic porn star James Deen of rape. Beginning with a common meme phrase, Stoya tweeted, "That thing where you log in to the Internet for a second and see people idolizing the guy who raped you as a feminist. That thing sucks." Followed by, "James Deen held me down and fucked me while I said no, stop, used my safe word. I just can't nod and smile when people bring him up anymore."
Burning Angel CEO and Deen ex-girlfriend Joanna Angel showed her support for Stoya's allegations via her own Twitter page, as did other porn stars Ashley Fires and Tori Lux recounting on-set interactions they had with Deen that they considered sexual assault and abuse.
Deen finally replied on Sunday, denying the allegations then tweeting, "I respect women and I know and respect limits both professionally and privately."
Deen was then exiled from his job giving sex advice to the feminist site The Frisky. Kink.com (the prominent leader in BDSM pornography) cut ties with his work and apparently, he voluntarily resigned from his position at the Adult Performer Advocacy Committee.On Tuesday, sex toy manufacturer Doc Johnson said it would be discontinuing Deen’s line of products, while production companies Evil Angel and Wood Rockett both said they’ll no longer work with him.
This news has sent a shock through not only the porn community, but the feminist Twittersphere as well. Deen was always been viewed as the sexy, boy-next-door Male Feminist porn star, even though he has never publicly aligned himself with gender politics. Feminists wrote think pieces about wanting their daughters to masturbate to Deen. He was praised as the new breed of mainstream male performer that actually appealed to the average woman.
This event deserves a nuanced discussion, but we can’t really have one without scrutiny. That is exactly what a jury would be expected to do in a court of law when deciding a verdict had these allegations been taken to police, and not social media.
However, sex crimes are extremely complicated. To be sexually assaulted by a friend, boyfriend or husband is handled much differently by both the victim and the authorities than to be attacked by a stranger. There is rarely police intervention in the former, let alone a rape kit. "Why didn't you leave him afterwards? Why didn't you say anything? Why did you wait to report this?" The answers to these questions can’t be understood unless the listener has great empathy. This is the crux of the rape controversy.
I am a feminist. I’ve volunteered at rape crisis centers (which are essential, resourceful institutes for victims who need clout when reporting sexual assaults to the police). The crime of rape is taken very seriously in this country, unlike many other places around the world, regardless, if it's social and not legal, criminal punishment. Furthermore, social media has so much power, as we can see by how quickly Deen’s career has changed in the three days since these allegations.
Was the goal of Stoya's tweet to ignite a discourse about how and who can discuss rape the right way? Or was she trying to call out someone she considers a rapist in order to protect other potential victims? It's impossible to know, yet important. According to most, the worst thing one could do would be to question the victim’s allegations in any capacity. That's "victim-blaming" and in 2015, it’s unforgivingly uncouth. But before we lay life-affecting blame, it does matter what actually happened. Without evidence, what impartial party could know, for a fact, that either person is telling the truth? The reality is none. So instead, we chose a side aligned with our own identity politics, or we say "no comment".
I know what I am saying is not the popular narrative. But the reality is that all four victims and Deen are all most likely telling their truth. All four women believe that Deen sexually violated them, yet Deen probably does not think what he did to any of those women was actually rape or a sexual violation (not that that would excuse his actions). Or, he's convinced himself otherwise. This is the unfortunate, yet very real, contention surrounding issues of sexual assault from someone the victim already knows, or has slept with before.
We have self-absorbed, selective memories. That's what separates the movies in our brains from the ones we record in our iPhones. We are at risk of "remembering it wrong" according to someone else. He said, she said gets even more confusing with public discourse. Arguments can only be settled by looking at the unbiased evidence. So, what do you do when there is no unbiased evidence?
Until we get to a state of consensus where all sexual assault crimes, no matter what the perpetrator's relationship to the victim, or their race, class, sexual orientation, profession or otherwise, cease to interfere with the court’s ruling of the crime, then they will instead be judged in the court of public opinion.
