When I was in my early twenties, people liked to say that a persons chance of finding someone declines with age. They also added that if youre looking for someone past the age of 28, youre probably treading in dangerous water. Theres a stigma that there must be something wrong with that person if theyre still on the market.
If youre past 28 years old, is dating an inevitable up hill battle?
Being single in your late 20s and 30s can be difficult even in todays seemingly progressive times. Youre constantly bombarded with photos of your friends weddings and soon follow the pregnancy updates on Facebook. As your closest start to pair off one after another, it could leave you feeling like the odd person out. No one ever liked being picked last and this is no exception.
Before you call your identity into question and how desirable you might be as a long-term mate, consider these points:
- According to research published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, married people are no happier than single people.
- Even though events such as marriage may heighten excitement and happiness, most people return to their normal state of happiness after some time has past.
- The largest increase of happiness for married couples is within the first year.
- Its not marriage itself that predicts happiness but rather the quality of the relationship.
- 48% of the population in North America is married. The proportion of married people has declined in comparison to previous years.
While there is some good news for single people out there past 28 years of age, Im obligated to tell you the whole truth. According to statistics, men tend to marry women that are younger than they are. They also marry at a later age than women although that disparity is starting to converge. Marriage also increases longevity due to increase social and emotional support.
The key lesson from all these statistics is to deviate from thinking in extremes or an all or nothing mentally. If money cant buy you happiness, neither can marriage. Its not whether you have it or not but rather what you do with it. Its particularly enlightening to know that single people who have a strong social and emotional support system from friends and family thrive just as much as married people. Its no wonder that Forbes Magazine featured an article in 2011 titled, Single people: Happy, Healthy and The Majority.
Falling in love and staying there requires a complementary combination of timing, opportunity, readiness, commitment and an open mind. There is no stronger drug than love and were all looking to get hooked. For now, those who are single can enjoy the pleasure of spontaneous travel and time to focus on whatever your heart desires. At the end of it all, time is the luxury of life so live it up while you can, single people.
Amy Yew is a researcher and therapist. Tell us what you think and submit any questions you have to [email protected]. You can also tweet your thoughts on Twitter @AmyYew.
