Vancouver has been named the most expensive city to live in North America above New York and Los Angeles in 2013. We all feel the financial constraint with high housing prices and the cost of living. With statistics suggesting that the ratio between women and men in Vancouver benefits men and that theres been an increase in single people in the city, were forced to take a good look at ourselves. Ive focused several of my columns on money and relationships because its an integral aspect of the decisions we make.
When the going gets tough, its time to hustle. Most of us juggle multiple roles and time to relax is a challenge. When it comes to relationships, the last thing we want to take on is someone who requires more work than what is already on our plates. For these reasons, we are constantly tempted by the easy way out of casual dating, booty calls and random hook ups. In each one of these cases, the understanding is that there are none of the expectations that go along with committed relationships.
There is another route that some people are taking which is an age-old method of meeting financial constraints with relationships. Its called the "finding a sugar daddy" technique. We most often attribute a pairing like this to an older, less attractive man with a younger woman. While most people are thinking, "yikes how can she possibly sleep with a man shes not attracted to?" the perks of a sugar daddy can outweigh some of the drawbacks, according to journalist Ariel Black from New York. She even outlines some tips on how to snag yourself a sugar daddy.
She attributed her first experience into this type of relationship when she acquired a high vet bill due to her beloved sick dog. As a journalist living in New York City, an unexpected financial expense means a possible impending eviction. It was good timing that Ariel found Eli who was a successful nerd that offered to not only pay for the vet bill but soon showered her with everything from tropical vacations to a cleaning lady. It may all seem superficial but the allure of someone who offers you the kind of comfort and stability, which allows you to move from "wanting" to work to "having" is tempting.
Ariel notes to readers that men who are successful are often good at working but not at relationships, and women can take advantage of that fact. She emphasizes that women should give in to great experiences and let a man take her on a journey whether its to Bali or Broadway. If youre on a hunt for a sugar daddy, she recommends going to sites like seekingarrangements.com. She also warns women that you have to be persistent and ready to meet a lot of frogs before a prince arises.
People ask me "isnt this the same as selling yourself or a repacking prostitution into a prettier package?" Women who have been in this position believe that they have earned these rewards much like Ariel. Women in these instances are often forced into patriarchal roles of taking care of their partners in some way. Staying with someone you might not necessarily be in love with is difficult. Its like sticking in a job you hate but pays you well. Im certainly not suggesting that we go out and get ourselves a sugar daddy because were short on money. Ultimately, Im a romantic and refuse to give into the notion love can be reduced to such "practical" exchanges of material goods for service.
If youre thinking to yourself I would never do that, think about this. Why do you ask someone what he or she does for a living when youre on a date? Will you likely continue dating someone for the long term knowing that they were financially unstable? If finding a sugar daddy is becoming increasingly predominant in modernized cities such as New York, is Vancouver not far behind as we feel the financial crunch?
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Amy Yew is a researcher and therapist. Tell us what you think and submit any questions you have to [email protected]. You can also tweet your thoughts on Twitter @AmyYew.
