At some point, I woke up and wasn't a young man any more. I have a kid. The bags under my eyes are big enough to be found in the trunk of a beer-league hockey goalie.
Also, I was working in the garden in last weekend's brief sunshine and my back hurts. I've gone distressingly soft around the middle. I overheard a conversation between two teenagers and they might as well have been speaking Swahili. Naturally, I told them to get the hell off my lawn.
So, here we are: adulthood. Adulthood is beige. It has pleats. It wears button-down collars and wingtip shoes, and it watches its cholesterol and goes for runs out of a sense of obligation rather than of fun. Adulthood has four doors and an ample trunk.
Approaching this latest version of Honda's perennially best-selling Accord, I mentally prepared my driving palate. Bring on the sensible fuel-economy and spacious interior. Prepare lumbars to be supported and buttocks to be squashily cosseted.
The day was grey, and so was my mind-set. The traffic unsnarled. The road curved.
Wait... wait, what's this?
Could this thing be... fun?
DESIGN
Glimpsing Honda's latest take on their four-door people-mover, you might not think so. While competitors like the new Mazda6 have swelling wheel-wells and curvaceous flanks, the Accord errs firmly on the side of caution.
Yes, my Sport-level tester looks reasonably athletic with its 18" alloys, but the rest of the car is somewhat plain, composed, reserved. To be unpleasant, it's unimpressive.
At least, that's the first impression. However, in a sea of super-swoopy overwrought styling exercises, the Accord stands out by not standing out. This is a car that'll age well, like a moderately priced fine wine. It looks pretty good now, but will look even better as its compatriots sag with the years.
The more I see the car out and about in traffic, the better it begins to look. Aside from the simple U-shaped chrome of the corporate grille, it's not a shape that's recognizably Honda. Although, blending into the background tastefully? Sounds pretty Honda-ish to me.
ENVIRONMENT
Anyone considering making the move to a mid-sized sedan as a way of retiring the Civic that got them through college will find the Accord roomy indeed. Forget "mid"-sized, this is a big car.
Despite being slightly shorter than the model it replaces, the new Accord is the whole family-sized bag of chips: lots of content, plenty of air. Front seat space is exemplary, with plenty of hip and head room. The rear seats swallow a rear-facing child seat without fuss.
However, a few demerits must be issued. First, the rear seat back folds only as a single piece; that's annoying when you've got a child seat in place. Secondly, you'd never call the central dash layout cohesive. Dominated by a large, easy-to-read display screen, it's nonetheless quite busy and not really a reflection of the tidy, no-nonsense exterior.
Also a bit of annoyance: a sunroof isn't part of the Sport package. While I'm a North Shore resident and therefore haven't actually seen the sun since June 2007, many people will want to feel the breeze in their hair without having to shell out for a leather-lined Touring model.
PERFORMANCE
For those who need maximum thrust, Honda offers a rip-roarin' 278hp V-6 engine. Irrelevant.
While the available six-cylinder turns the Accord into a real fire-breather (and Honda wonders why they don't sell more Acuras), Canadian mid-size shoppers are also primarily concerned with fuel-economy. Lots of horsepower is great, but not when it costs you at the pump.
Good news then, as the sporty four-cylinder sedan used to be Honda's calling card. Please note that I said "used to". The previous Accord was a bit ho-hum to drive; it felt like they'd copied a Toyota Camry just a little too closely.
Showing the Accord a curve in the road and preparing for medium-grade mediumness, the car wakes up and knocks my Costco-brand socks off. This is as much fun as a Fit, just on a bigger scale.
The steering isn't amazing - it's still just skewing slightly towards the numb end of the scale. However, the chassis, tuned for space and comfort as it is, feels like there's something special here. The Accord seems to shrink around the driver and zips through the corners with aplomb. Eagerness, even.
The fitting of a continuously variable transmission (CVT) won't excite many, but Honda pulls it off first go. Paddle-shifters are actually useful, and the driving experience so closely mimics a seamless conventional transmission - rather than the "motorboat" feel you often get with a CVT - that there's little to find fault with.
The engine, a 2.4L direct-injected four-cylinder, is an absolute peach. Yes, it's not as smooth as the V6 option but it's got all the fizz and character you'd expect out of a Honda. Curiously, while it'll spin to redline happily, it's the decent low-end torque that provides the real charm.
Overall, driving the Accord, you feel as though the engineers paused to glance up at a portrait of Honda's late eponymous president and asked themselves, "What would Soichiro do?" Well, he'd do this.
FEATURES
There are six different Accords on display, from basic LX ($23,990) up to V6 touring ($35,290). The Sport model I tested is one step up over base at $25,490.
Of course, throwing the term "basic" around is somewhat unfair. The Accord comes standard with Bluetooth handsfree including text-messaging, 8" multi-function display, 17" alloy wheels, backup camera and heated front seats. Moving up a level gives you 18" alloys, unique spoiler lip, paddle-shifters and fog-lights, as well as a bump in horsepower from 185hp up to 189hp.
Top-level Accords boast niceties like heated seats front and rear, satellite navigation, multi-angle rearview camera and a unique blind-spot camera aimed down the right side of the car that displays in the large central screen whenever the right turn-signal is activated. Observed fuel economy is very good - the effect of that CVT smoothing out even enthusiastic driving. Official figures are rated at 8.5L/100kms city and 5.7L/100kms highway. I averaged out right around 10L/100kms in a week of heavy stop and go.
COMPETITORS
Having just driven the game-changing Mazda6 sedan, I feel qualified to tell you that the comparison between the two is as close as it gets.
Advantage Mazda: available manual transmission throughout the range. Advantage Honda: even more low-end punch, and bigger wheels and tires at a lower price point. Advantage Mazda: extra-sharp steering and a fuel-sipping engine. Advantage Honda: more roomy interior and better feature content.
It's a neck-and-neck race, but the real winner here is the consumer.
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