Kitchen on Main St.
3941 Main St. | 604-620-8300 | KitchenOnMainSt.com
Open nightly from 5pm; brunch Saturday-Sunday, 11am-3pm.
The long-running Crave on Main was popular for its burger and brunch menu, but most of all for its lovely back patio, the walled garden oasis that was prime real estate on any given weekend. Crave eventually closed, and an easily-forgotten tapas joint enjoyed a brief stint before giving way to the latest incarnation, Kitchen on Main St, back in April of this year.
The press release listed chef Uli Schnur and partner Herschel Miedzygorski as the brains behind the balls. That’s not a pun: the menu’s focus is the humble meatball. Schnur is listed as having apprenticed and worked at Michelin-starred restaurants across Europe, as well as working as executive chef at Settebello and Umberto in Whistler. Miedzygorski is the former owner of Harry’s on Robson and Harry’s Diner on Pender. The two met when Miedzygorski opened Southside Deli in Whistler in 1984.
With such a pedigree, I expected something rather wonderful. Press releases, however, are known for their hyperbole for a reason. The room has been updated nicely, and the service was excellent, but the menu is a spectacular fail, for several reasons.
First, the meatballs. A skillet of four goes for around $16, and you get a choice of side, ranging from grilled vegetables to mac ‘n’ cheese, fries, garlic bread or mixed greens. Lamb-chorizo balls were just spicy enough to overwhelm the presence of the lamb, but at least were moderately moist, as opposed to the dried-out chicken balls (which tasted as if they had chorizo as well, although it wasn’t listed on the menu). The classic Italian combo of beef, pork and veal was heartbreakingly bland. It was all so boring – as were the plain, grilled vegetables – that I wondered if they were trying to avoid repeat customers.
Sides were marginally better. Goat cheese balls ($9), deep fried and served with herbed honey, were a nice starter, as were the potato-crusted chicken wings ($9), which were thinly coated, with a nice crunch and juicy flesh. My child enjoyed the ice cream sandwich, but what kid doesn’t like chocolate chip cookies with ice cream and strawberries?
These were the only redeeming items on the menu. Pastas (which don’t appear on the website for some reason), used more of the balls, except paired with lacklustre sauces. Fire-roasted tomato sauce on the spaghetti and meatballs, for instance, tasted canned and flavourless. My dessert was lamentable. A skillet of apple pie with a pleasant vanilla-banana ice cream showed promise, and the apples were caramelized and tender, but the crust was stretchy and wet, obviously not baked to doneness.
Even a simple Caesar salad ($9 for an enormous bowl) was thrown together without any care. The anchovy dressing was non-existent, apart from a couple clumps of mayonnaise attached to some bottom leaves. And, that, right there, is the crux of the issue here. There is virtually no care given to the ingredients or how they’re used, so why should customers care?
Over several visits, the patio was almost never full, and the room was always empty. If the food doesn’t get any better, not even the summer season and that gorgeous patio will save this wreck of a kitchen.
All ratings out of five stars.
Food: ★
Service: ★★
Ambiance: ★★
Value: ★
Overall: ★1/2
• Anya Levykh has been writing about all things ingestible for more than 10 years. Hear her every Monday on CBC Radio One’s On the Coast and find her on Twitter @foodgirlfriday and Facebook.com/FoodGirlFriday.
