I've been a sex writer for almost four years now, which means two things: 1) My parents do not read my columns, and 2) I get to experiment with really freaky sex toys and products that are sent to my door. To be honest, I'm not huge on sex accessories. When you are with the right partner, it's really easy to just shrug and call yourself a meat-and-potatoes kind of person. However, there's some toys that are so cool you can't really ignore them. Get on that Ferris wheel and soon you are addicted to the stomach flip. So here's my list of the top sex accessories of the year.
FORIA (The "Weed Lube")
A few months back, VICE commissioned me to test out the infamous "weed lube". I met up with Foria's Wellness Director, Matthew Gerson, to talk about his creation: The first THC-enhanced pre-lube designed to aid female sexual arousal. A natural, more granola approach to better orgasms. When Foria hit the market, it blew up all over the internet and, duh, rightfully so. The way it was being branded itself was enough to intrigue a Mormon. Foria, in fact, should not be used as a lube, but a pre-lube. The spray has been scientifically modified to contain a restricted amount of TCH in each pump. When I used Foria, I sprayed it on each morning and let it resonate with my vulva. During tests, Foria users reported more intense orgasms, longer-lasting orgasms, and all-over relaxation. But the most successful target group was women who have been through menopause (whose, according to the medical community, sexual pleasure is not essential to their health after the baby making juices dry up).
I still use Foria. It's great to use orally (and get a nice little body high) and has helped keep improve my vagina's general health as well as it's functions. The way I looked at Foria was more like a message for our entire culture's way of being, similar to what Gerson believed: Allowing the pleasure of sex to inform our approaches to health and wellness seems to make a lot of sense. Orgasms make you relaxed and happy. It's kind of the best feeling and we should not lose site of that pleasure, especially during the ages when the FDA and medical community want to let women know their sexual happiness is inexistent because they no longer can reproduce. That's sexist, disgusting and boring.
I don't know, maybe I'm just stoned. (Kidding.)
LELO TRANSFORMER
The kind folks at LeLo have sent me so many great products this past year, but the best one by far was the Transformer. The Transformer is this long cord with a handle of each end that control the vibrations with easy button clicks. The whole thing looks like a whip, but smooth and malleable. This toy is everything in one: A rabbit vibe, a clitoral massager, a cock-ring, a G-spot vibe, a prostate massager, and more (truly you can do whatever you want with this thing). It's a little freak of a toy and, to some, may be completely intimidating at first, but I suggest buying it in one of the "fun colors", having a few glasses of wine, and going for it. It's the perfect couple toy. Just remember to always use lube, which brings me to our next item...
SLIPPERY STUFF
I discovered this lube years ago at female-oriented sex shop on Commercial Drive. Slippery Stuff is the best lubricant on the market, hands down. It's smooth, long-lasting, and water-based, which is always the best option. Of course this lube isn't as easy to find at the drugstore as your basic KY crap or Astroglide, but Slippery Stuff is a better value. You use less per fuck, it lasts longer, and the ingredients are better for your skin. Until they invent a lube infused with diamonds and unicorn sparkles that turns sex into a 48-hour pleasure trip, I'm sticking by Slippery Stuff like glue.
