Whether youre widowed or newly divorced, the idea of dating after decades spent with a partner can be daunting. But Jane Carstens has helped many singles 55 and older find love again. We caught up with the professional matchmaker by phone to chat about how to approach being a later dater and gleaned these simple tips:
1) Figure out what your priorities are. For example, you might already be involved with volunteering, community groups, grandkids. Ask yourself how much time you have to invest in dating and how you see it realistically meshing with your established routines.
2) Contemplate what kind of lifestyle makes you happiest. Are you looking for someone to travel with; do you like to play tennis at the local club; would you enjoy sharing the kitchen and cooking together? Once you know what would complement your interests, you can look for your match in the right places.
3) Catch up with old friends: Start a Facebook account, email someone you havent seen in years or go to that reunion.
4) Open up to friends and family that you are interested in dating again. Youd be surprised how supportive and connected your circle can be.
5) Approach someone while out on errands and just start a conversation.
6) Get out of the house; theres plenty to do solo. Go to a meet-up, join an interest group or grab a bite. You cant meet someone staying at home, jokes Carstens. She suggests taking a seat at the bar versus a table to allow people to easily join you.
7) Dont get hung up on fears. If you dont know the protocol (who pays for what, when to kiss etc.), just ask a friend. But acting on your instincts is equally important for making a genuine connection. Who cares what the rules are; if it feels right, do it.
And that person is out there: Carstens asks each of her clients whether they would ever choose to get married again. Ninety per cent say that with the right person, they would.
Jane Carstens is offering WE Vancouver readers the chance to find love again with a little help from her team at Matchmaker for Hire:
The winner will receive complimentary matchmaking services from Matchmaker for Hire for up to one year (including in-home interview, comprehensive match screening and one-on-one date coaching) approx. $2800 value.
To enter, click here.
