Victoria Day, Canada Day, BC Day, Labour Day: these are the long weekends of our summer. These are the times we live for, the weekends we pine after while getting drenched at the bus stop at 7:20am in the cascading rains of a pitch-black November morning. These are the summer vacation weekends of our dreams. Until they actually happen.
Those hazy summer fantasies can quickly become a nightmare when you (try to) head out of town, or (try to) come home, and you dare to count up your precious hours of those long weekends that you spend… sitting in your car… at a BC ferry terminal.
Believe me, I speak from years of experience. It’s completely possible that I’ve spent roughly half my life waiting in line at a BC ferry terminal, also known as vacation purgatory.
And hey, don’t get me wrong, I actually have a lot of respect for BC Ferries. It’s the largest ferry fleet in the world, which winds us through some of the most picturesque ocean passages on the planet. And most of the staff are remarkably nice, even when you arrive way too late for your reservation and miss the boat.
During my childhood, after we’d miss the ferry, my parents would be forced to clean up the copious amount of vomit I’d spew during my dad’s non-stop and ultimately fruitless Cannonball Run to the terminal.
That tradition has now officially been hurled down. My most recent May long weekend involved a combined eight throw-ups and three shitting of pants between my two young kids. After we missed the ferry, my wife and I cleaned it up. It was really gross. I get it now, Mom and Dad. Sorry and thanks.
In recent years, I’ve tried to beat the ferry system on long weekends, in a vain attempt to avoid the crowds and circumnavigate the wait. What’s that Einstein saying? Something about repeating the same behavior over and over again and expecting a different result? That’s me, in my car, cursing, cleaning up vomit, lined up at the BC Ferry terminal no matter what trick I try.
For the last three years running, I’ve taken off an extra day of work on the long weekend, returning with my family from the Sunshine Coast on Tuesday instead of the holiday Monday. That is absolutely pure BC ferry travel planning brilliance, right?
Wrong.
It turns out that, shockingly, I’m not the only person with this brilliant idea. It turns out that thousands upon thousands of people and their kayaks have the exact same idea. In fact, so many people have the same idea as me that we’ve all been stuck for hours waiting for the ferry at the Langdale terminal… on Tuesday! The boat is always running late, with sailing waits due to high traffic.
And here’s the rub: the ferries add extra sailings on holiday Monday, meaning the crush that I’m trying to avoid is actually relatively smooth sailing. There’s no added sailings on Tuesday, a regular workday, so we’re screwed again, spending several more hours of our precious long weekends waiting for a ferry. Ah, summer.
Anyway, see you at the ferry terminal on the Canada Day long weekend. I’ll bring the wipes!
