When Vancouver-West End MLA Spencer Chandra Herbert and husband Romi enjoyed a baby shower prior to the birth of their son by surrogate Feb. 14, the theme was “It Takes a Village.”
“And we’ve discovered since then that there are so many people out there who want to help with the ‘babying,’” Chandra Herbert told the Courier during a phone interview between feedings Friday afternoon. “Since we’ve been home from the hospital, I think every single person in our apartment building has been over offering to help.”
Then there are the moms. Chandra Herbert said between his and Romi’s mom, they’re well covered when it comes to being reminded to eat and being provided healthy food for their fridge. And, it’s the females in their life, including their baby boy’s biological mother Amanda, who were the inspiration for his name.
Dev Juno Chandra Herbert was born just after midnight Valentine’s Day, just minutes after Family Day ended. Chandra Herbert said “Dev” is a Sanskrit word meaning divine.
“It was divine intervention in some way because we can’t have kids together and it’s only because of our friend Amanda that we have him,” he explained.
“And Juno is the Greek goddess for women and childbirth.”
Chandra Herbert said it was a way to acknowledge the team of women who supported them along the way — their moms, Amanda and the strong women surrounding her during the pregnancy.
Chandra Herbert and his husband Romi spent almost four years attempting to adopt a child of any age. It cost the couple thousands of dollars, countless hours and true heartbreak.
“At one point we were told we’d have a baby in a few days, but then homophobia kicked in and a relative complained and the adoption fell through,” said Chandra Herbert. “That was really tough. So it made us laugh a bit when we realized that process is so byzantine, with so many rules and laws. Then we found out how easy it is to have a baby.”
That’s not to say the couple has ruled out adopting another child in the future. Both men grew up with siblings, so they know the importance of having a brother or sister. Chandra Herbert’s twin brother has an 18-month-old child.
“Romi and I met 17 years ago and one of the first conversations we had was about having a family,” said Chandra Herbert. “It’s always been our dream and we’ve been incredibly blessed.”
Romi is taking parental leave from his job as a co-executive director at the non-profit youth organization PeerNetBC.
“I have other children, parents and constituents in my riding who I need to help too,” said Chandra Herbert. “So I’ll just get less sleep.”
He has seen some of the negative comments several people have left online in response to news reports of the birth, which included the photo showing Dev resting on his bare chest and admits they’re not pleasant to read.
“But it’s really important to have skin-on-skin contact,” said Chandra Herbert. “Hopefully, people will get better educated and be less judgemental. Babies need to be with you to get to know your smell, your touch, your sound. Even just after a couple of days, if a friend is holding Dev and he starts to fuss, as soon as he’s back in my arms he’s OK.”
@sthomas10
