I’m sure you do it. I know I do. I’m a fully confessed Vancouver winter Weather Bragger.
Just look out your window: yes, those are indeed pink, fluffy, gorgeous, cherry blossoms. Yep, they’re about three weeks early this year. Hurrah for us! And yes, those are bright yellow daffodils blooming beneath them. And indeed, those are sweet lil’ crocuses all the colours of the rainbow popping up through our evergreen grass of the West Coast.
It’s February in Vancouver, which means spring is here.
This is, of course, while the rest of Canada digs out from its latest, epic, record ass-dumping of snow, in ever-plunging, Game of Thrones-like temperatures. Eastern Canadians are forced to spend Family Day (or Louis Riel Day, or Heritage Day, or Islander Day, or whatever it is they celebrate east of the Rockies) either trapped indoors desperately trying to stay warm, or just centimetres outside of their front door shoveling gargantuan mountains of white stuff so they might make a storm chips run to Giant Tiger. All the while, here in Lotus Land, we bask in Frisbee-golf temperatures.
Do we feel guilty? HELL, NO!
Do we whip out our phones with the speed and dexterity that only mittenless hands can manage, snapping pics of every early sign of spring? HELL, YES!
Do we hold back on posting and sharing those photos on every one of our social media streams for fear of offending our frozen Canadian brothers and sisters of the East? HELL, NO!
Do we brag, scoff, tweet, gloat, Instagram, and (if you’re in East Van) crow about just how utterly glorious February is on the West Coast? HELL, YES!
If indeed we are in agreement, then you too are a Vancouver Weather Bragger.
However, if you happen to be that solitary Vancouverite who has yet to indulge in weather bragging on social media, be warned: for some jerky Canadians, weather bragging from the West Coast is about as popular as cranking Nickelback in your shared office space for everyone to rock out to.
According to my friend Jon in Whitehorse (where it is -17 C and snowing as I type), “you’re a dick if you weather brag”.
According to my friend Benoit in Ottawa (where it is -20 C and snowing as I type), weather bragging is considered “arsehole” behavior.
According to my friend Sasha in Montreal (where it is -27 C and snowing as I type), “I will unfriend you on Facebook faster than you can type ‘rhododendron’”.
But Vancouverites are willing to take those social risks. We continue to weather brag, as fast as the forsythia flowers. Why? Because we live in the most expensive city in Canada, that’s why! We pay a premium for the privilege of our weather! We’ve purchased the right to weather brag, by somehow being able to afford to still live here. We must take advantages of the few perks of living in Canada’s richest housing market, besides, you know equity, or whatever.
Now…go outside without your jacket and Instagram some those spectacular cherry blossoms, eh? #weatherbrag
