Going to school in West Vancouver, writer Grant Lawrence was picked on regularly.
I was the smallest kid, wore the biggest glasses, wore squeaky knee braces I was the target, he says. I kind of get it now, because Ive analyzed it, but its like the survival of the fittest: the prey with the least resistance were picked off first and that was always me. And the guys picking me off were always, without exception, wearing hockey jackets theyd just pick on me.
He pauses to think about how this all affected him.
So at a very early age, I began to associate violence and intimidation and fear with hockey, even though, like a lot of Canadian kids, I wanted to play it and I wanted to be a part of it and I wanted to love the Vancouver Canucks, he continues. But I didnt feel like I could because I felt like only assholes were involved in the game.
So it was a surprise, years later, after starting a beer league hockey team with other local writers and musicians, that he found himself back on the rink and inspired to write his latest book The Lonely End of the Rink: Confessions of a Reluctant Goalie.
There was one day I was standing in my goal crease and the play was down at the other end of the ice and I thought, I cannot believe this. How the hell am I playing hockey? he recalls. This is so foreign and bizarre but also fun. How did I get to this place? And that was the impetus of the book.
Lawrence says the book is a story of overcoming and living life on your own comfortable terms. Despite the serious roots of the novel, the story is propelled by a lot of sharp, frank humour and anecdotes.
I wanted to trace the story of how I got from the little nerd who wasnt welcome at all to championship-winning beer-league goalie, the CBC Radio host says laughing.
Four months ago, Lawrence and his wife, singer-songwriter Jill Barber, had their first child. The proud father hopes his son doesnt go through the intimation he endured over his teen years.
The biggest challenge with kids being bullied is that they often never tell their parents because theres often shame or theres embarrassment, he says When my parents read this book, they were kind of shocked and horrified that Id gone through this stuff because I hadnt shared a lot of it with them I just suffered alone or with the few friends I had. Im definitely going to pay attention so my son didnt go through the bullshit I went through.
The book is available at various bookstores or on GrantLawrence.ca.
