If you’ve ever fought a speeding ticket in traffic court, you’ll know what an ordeal it can be. I just went through with the entire procedure but managed to discover a wonderfully satisfying silver lining, whether you’re found innocent or guilty. Let me explain.
When my traffic court date finally arrived, I filed into the courtroom in Robson Square with various surly teenagers, haggard businessmen and other questionable citizenry, all of us clearly trying to wiggle out of our tickets. One by one the defendants took to the stand, and one by one the judge swiftly took them down with a direct assist to the traffic cop who issued their ticket. No one was getting off. Some were bursting into tears, some had to hand over their driver’s licenses on the spot, some had their fines doubled, some flew into fits of rage. I sat in the courtroom like an extra from Night Court, beginning to think I had made a big mistake.
Finally my name was called. As I approached the bench, the judge’s voice boomed through the courtroom. “Are you Mr. Grant Lawrence?” I replied meekly in the affirmative. He responded, “I cannot in good conscience try your case today, Mr. Lawrence.” I was already a little intimidated, now I was baffled. “Uh, why?” The judge answered, “I cannot try your case because I am a big fan of your wife’s music.”
For the uninitiated, my wife is a Canadian singer who has released many albums over the course of a long career. The judge explained that he felt his fandom could be a conflict of interest in my case, saying “your wife might be none too happy if I found you guilty.” I was a little stunned, but managed to come to my senses. “She’d be really happy if you dismiss my case!” The comment received barely a flicker of positive recognition. The judge continued: “your case shall be reassigned to another judge tomorrow, case adjourned. Goodbye Mr. Lawrence, and say hi to your wife for me”.
Out in the hall, a police officer leaned in to me and grunted, “I’ve never seen that happen before.” It wasn’t over. Returning the next day, my case was called and tried by a different judge. As a citizen representing myself, I was able to tell my side of the story in what I felt was a clear and convincing manner.
After the judge heard both sides, he commended me on my defense and considerably reduced my fine to $130, but still found me guilty of speeding. And you know what? I’m fine with that. Here’s why: while defending myself, I was legally allowed to turn the tables on that cop who I felt unfairly pulled me over.
I got to cross-examine and call out that constable on what I thought was entrapment: setting up a laser speed gun at the onramp of a highway where cars are naturally accelerating. And while I respect and appreciated everything the Vancouver Police Department do to keep us safe within our city, I have to admit it: I went all Matlock on that cop for a good twenty minutes in the form of questions, without the officer being able to respond with anything but direct answers with the judge allowing me to do it.
In closing, for someone like me who admittedly has had a few issues with authority figures to begin with, it was a silver lining to an otherwise thankless experience, and definitely worth the $130 fine.
That said, here’s another thing I’ll admit: I’ll never speed on that approach to the highway again.
