Hello! A few days ago, I was at a busy, downtown café, and witnessed a social interaction that took two pleasantly unexpected turns. A 20-something couple walked in. They were really good looking, but that’s beside the point. They purchased their coffees and snacks, then turned to survey the tables, looking for somewhere they could sit together. Every table was taken, mostly by solo individuals buried in their laptops, myself included.
The first unexpected moment was when a bookish woman proved she wasn’t completely self-absorbed in scrolling her Facebook newsfeed like the rest of us. If you don’t count the laptop, she was sitting alone. The woman looked up at the couple through a pair of vintage eyeglasses and quietly said, “Hello, you two can take my table, I’ll go sit at the bar.” The couple thanked her as she gathered up her things and began to make her way over to a stool to continue her lonesome laptop plunking.
The second unexpected moment was when the male half of the couple turned towards the table-giver-upper, and said, “Hey, would you like to join us?” The woman turned, smiled, and replied, “Um, no, that’s ok…” Thinking about it further in the instant she adjusted her glasses, she decided to seize the moment. “Actually, yes. Sure. Thanks!”
She sat back down at the table with them. The smiling, handsome couple introduced themselves and she did likewise, and the three of them delved into an amicable conversation over coffee and banana bread. I tried not to stare on in shock as I pretended to type on my laptop while eavesdropping.
By all indications, it wasn’t a hustle, it wasn’t a proposition for a three-way, and they weren’t missionaries from a religious cult. This was just a straight-up, friendly conversation amongst Vancouverites who had just met and were sharing a table. According to some medical sociology studies, people who do just that – engage with strangers – live healthier, happier, and longer lives.
We all know that the type of social interaction I witnessed in the café is all too rare in this city. We’ve heard it before: Vancouver is often considered the “coldest” town in Canada when it comes to friendliness, but we don’t stand alone in the epidemic of urban loneliness. Studies have shown that up to one in five city dwellers in North America suffers from social isolation. To combat that, a few years ago, a campaign called “Just Say Hello” was launched with some serious pep when celebrities like Oprah, Julia Roberts, and Jimmy Kimmel got behind it. Videos were made, songs were written, and hashtags were created.
David Beattie, a Vancouverite originally from South Africa, thought “Just Say Hello” was a great idea and tried to launch a localized version of the campaign at cafés in Vancouver. He tried to pilot the project at his local by placing a sign on a table that read, “Just say hello.” He sat down and reportedly waited for over two hours, until deeming the test run a complete flop. The Metro Vancouver Just Say Hello Facebook page has just 129 likes and hasn’t been updated since October. Most of the posts on the page have zero likes. Hello?
Sure, the concept can be corny, and it depends on the neighbourhood. In the West End, saying hello could infer you seek something stronger than conversation. In the Downtown Eastside, saying hello might infer you seek something stronger than coffee. On Robson Street, if you tried to say hello to everyone you pass, someone might call Mental Health Emergency Services. In East Van, saying hello to strangers has actually been encouraged to thwart property crime and build up community rapport.
Why not try it? It’s a one-word remedy to shake Vancouver’s chilly reputation: just say hello. I saw it work before my very eyes. Say hello with a smile and you never know where it may lead.
