Skip to content
Join our Newsletter
Join our Newsletter

RANT/RAVE (Mar.31)

Quitters prosper Hey, all you smokers who are still whining about your rights. You have the right to quit. You have the right to empower yourselves and break your addiction.

Quitters prosper

Hey, all you smokers who are still whining about your rights. You have the right to quit. You have the right to empower yourselves and break your addiction. You have the right to make the air a little bit cleaner for everyone in spite of the car exhaust. You have the right to good health and you have the right to practice social responsibility. You do not have the right to destroy your lungs, shorten your life and endanger the health of people around you. You are being warned. You are a shrinking minority. And we are not taking it from you any more. Or you could man up and quit, and use the money you squander on your death habit to feed the food bank, or support cancer research, or aid the homeless. Feel better, now?


Road less travelled

Aw, Johnnys laying down the law. Mad at the cyclists. Frustrated that others get around for free, get in shape and have a clean conscience about what pollution they spew at others. He wants any bike outside bike lanes to be punished. Fine, then keep your bloody awful stinking pollutin toxic cars off the bike paths throughout the city. And get some help. Youre gonna be tipped over the edge when the oil and gas you worship gets so expensive youll be stuck at a bus stop while all of us incredibly in-shape cyclists ride past you laughing.


Watch where you point that thing

Re: Squirt Gun Revenge

The real societal difference between you and smokers is that we dont hate you. We dont like you much, but we certainly dont sit around plotting against you in a half-crazed private rage. Having been driven out of practically every place we used to enjoy a smoke, forced to respect your insatiable intolerance, and knowing that you wont rest until we are extinguished entirely, we could but reading your rant makes at least one of us feel little more than pity for you and your lonely obsession. You think the world is behind you, but only your fellow asses are. They get printed, but they number far less than the 20 percent of Canadians who smoke. The rant column is no substitute for therapy Annie. Get some before you blow a gasket or are arrested for assault. Im a big guy, if you ever point a gun at me or anyone I see, toy or not, be prepared for some reality.


Anti-smoking vigilantes

What exactly is it that truly resides in the shrunken soul of the smoker-hating vigilante? What or who is it that you really hate semi-deep down in your remarkably shallow small minds? The awe-inspiring hate radiating off these petty individuals is somewhat disturbing. Such truly hateful comments and insults vomiting out of their sneering pious cake holes is magnificent. I wonder if this same type of human storms the alleys and streets looking for heroin addicts to spew their hatred upon? How about hanging around the local McDonalds to give hate-fuelled dietary advice to the fast food junkies? Chide and insult the obese for their imperfect bodies? Hell, why stop there, maybe hit the bars and slap the alcoholic regulars around just for kicks. Really now, just how perfect are their lives, health habits and general sensibilities in terms of rudeness? Obviously not so perfect because they sure as hell dont sound very content, unless of course it involves hating a particular group. Before the glut of ugly replies comes in, here are a few points I wont say bullets because I dont want to give you folks any ideas.

1. You say smokers are stupid. Does this mean that if you discover your favourite author smokes or perhaps drinks alcoholically that this particular author is no longer brilliant? We are talking about addiction here gang not intellect.

2. Smelling cigarette smoke in the open air outside is not likely to cause you to wake up the next day with a raging case of emphysema unless of course you opt to stand right beside a smoker for the next 25 years or so in a windless void.

3. Is the smell of cigarette smoke or the smell of a smoker unpleasant to many? Yes, of course it is, but then again so is the body odor of the unbathed, over-perfumed and over-cologned people, bad breath and smelly socks. The list goes on and on, if you see what I mean.

4. I agree with the littering complaint. Not to excuse it or anything but what about the back lane dumping and gross amount of littering in general? Dont they deserve your righteous rage as well?

5. Spare me with the health-care cost arguments. Cigarettes are unbelievably heavily taxed. Theres a reason why your government hasnt declared cigarettes illegal.

6. While we are on the subject of taxation, how about heavily taxing fast food, candy and potato chips and all manner of things unhealthy? Just like cigarettes we can hide all the booze in the liquor stores and all the junk food at the grocery outlets behind special closets or cabinets. This technique will surely save us from all that is unwise and unhealthy.

7. Please re-read item #2. We are not killing you or trying to kill you.

8. Give us evil smokers a break and stop with the hating even if it really is yourselves that you truly dislike.

Can we please end this debate and all agree that this a world laden with imperfections? In last Thursdays edition people of our ilk were threatened with a water pistol. Whats next? Baseball bats? Real pistols?


Leash the hounds

This rant is to the douchebag in Nelson Park who told me to mind my own business when I pointed out to him that dogs were only to be off-leash in the off-leash section of the park (in the southwest corner). Your dog came running up to me, so I consider it my business to tell you that he/she should not be. It does not matter if your dog is big or small; some people, myself included, dont care for dogs to come running up to them (potentially out of control). I was bitten by a dog as a young boy and would rather not have to deal with an unleashed one running wild outside. You dont have some God-given right to a dog and it is high time you realized that, douchebag!