Finding an affordable rental in Vancouver is can be as depressing as it is infuriating. $1,000 for a shoebox bachelor suite in East Vancouver? Ugh.
So it’s no surprise that a Craigslist post with the headline” “$800 / 1br – 1000ft2 – 1 Bedroom Suite Available on Main & 11th” would have gained some rabid attention this past weekend.
If it sounds to good to be true, it definitely, certainly was. The now-deleted post went on to read:
Looking for a hip location to walk out of and go to cool shows and coffee shops and wear Ray-Bans or those new hipper circular shades that the beatles [sic] guy wore? This is it. Right here, right now. Dye your hair green right now, because you’re in.
Since there’s no affordable housing on Main, you’ll actually be living in a shack in Langley. The shack has a teleporter that connects directly to the lobby of a super-urban new apartment complex on South Main where each square foot costs $180/month, so you can walk out pretending you belong there.
Ah, if only this were true! Imagine – ready access to both peaceful backwaters of the Fraser Valley and the coffee shops of SoMa?
The whole thing is a joke, of course – and an especially bitter one, as the rest of the post devolves into a rant many have felt, but few have actually published in a forum as public as Craigslist:
Actually, if you don’t have a rich dad and a job at an opportunistic software company or investment firm, go fuck yourself. Fuck off, you don’t belong in Vancouver anymore. The coup d’etat is over, you lost.
Erm. OK.
(Thanks to Jonny H for the heads tip.)
