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Opinion: Get vaccinated or Krampus may drag you to the underworld

He knows if you've been bad or good
krampus-fire
Krampus makes an appearance every Christmas

A figure from central European folklore is once again rearing its ugly head, only this year it may be hungry for people who aren't doing their part to help prevent the spread of COVID-19.

Yes I'm talking about Krampus, the half-goat half-demon who shadows Saint Nicholas during the holidays. Instead of rewarding children who are on the nice list, he punishes the naughty in a number of truly awful ways.

It is said that Krampus beats children who have misbehaved, using a branch. He also is thought to eat them, and in some cases put them into a sack and drag them to the underworld so that they may experience an eternal hell.

Should you believe in this Christmastime beast, you might want to do your best to get yourself onto the nice list, pronto.

Until December 25, hold back from attending rallies in front of the hospital, regardless of how much you feel oppressed for having to wear a mask.

Don't barge into ceremonies that honour those who served in wars on your behalf.

And for heaven's sake, please stop sharing fake news on Facebook, saying "it's just a flu" and quoting the survival rate as ninety-nine-point-whatever percent you just saw in a YouTube video by somebody who is pretending to be a doctor.

Christmas on a ventilator may await you, then some quality time with Krampus.

Nobody is wishing that upon you... except maybe that one guy with the goat face, carrying a branch and a sack.