Is this ‘world’s most boring wallet’ yours? Vancouver-area cops have some news and jokes for you

North Shore News

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Police in North Vancouver are having a little bit of fun as they seek the owner of “a remarkably generic men’s wallet” found at a local mall.

North Vancouver RCMP issued a release Tuesday asking “Are you the owner of the world’s most boring wallet?”

Ladies and gentlemen, it’s the world’s most boring wallet. Photo courtesy North Vancouver RCMP

The wallet in question definitely won’t win any design or style accolades, however it was turned over to police by Capilano Mall security, who found the bland accessory at about 1:30 p.m. on May 2, 2019.

The police, who are industry experts at issuing descriptions, elaborate on the wallet as follows: “It is described as black. And leather. And it folds.”

“It contained no identification, no cards, and had no distinctive marks or labels. Very boring indeed,” editorialized Sgt. Peter DeVries, North Vancouver RCMP Media Relations Officer.

Now, the more interesting part (or, “slightly less boring,” as DeVries writes) is that the wallet did happen to be full of money. And someone might want that money back.

To claim your wallet, you’ll have to get in touch with the North Vancouver RCMP and prove it’s yours.

“And no, saying the bills all have a picture of the Queen on them will not be enough to convince us it’s yours,” quips DeVries in the release.

Here’s how they propose you make your claim, as stated in the RCMP release:

  • Tell us how much money is in the wallet
  • Tell us what denomination the bills are
  • Tell us what you were doing in the mall that day
  • Find some way to prove you were in the mall that day
  • Tell us where in the mall it would have been found

Anyone who wishes to claim ownership of the wallet can call Cst. Chantal Gauthier at (604) 985-1311 or contact her via email at chantal.gauthier@rcmp-grc.gc.ca.

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Lindsay is the Managing Editor of Vancouver Is Awesome, and the co-host and co-producer of the Vancouver Is Awesome Podcast. A fifth generation Vancouverite and life-long foodie, Lindsay also serves as a judge for the Vancouver Magazine Restaurant Awards. Previously the Food Editor of Daily Hive, Senior Editor of Vancity Buzz, and Editor-in-Chief of LAist.com, in her past life in L.A. she earned an MA in English, attended culinary school, and was an English professor. Lindsay's first published piece was December 1980 in The Province; it was her letter to Santa. E-mail: lindsay@vancouverisawesome.com // Twitter/Instagram: @squashblossom