It seems they’ve really streamlined the process of making a terrible Spider-Man movie. Where it once took Sam Raimi five years of trial and error to achieve the train wreck that was Spider-Man 3, Marc Webb has managed to send his reboot hurtling off the rails just two years after its lurching start.
While rather fond of capturing the web-slinger in balletic slow-motion that accentuates his preternatural agility, Webb proves incapable of lending similar grace to an unwieldy script.
As with the first instalment, Oscorp Industries and their deplorable safety record prove the bane of Spider-Man’s existence by churning out super villains with alarming frequency. If it’s not milquetoast Max Dillon (Jamie Foxx) scoring powers from a bath with electric eels, it’s petulant emo CEO Harry Osborn (Dane DeHaan) making off a heavily-armed glider or braying Russian mercenary (Paul Giamatti) getting a battle armour makeover.
Despite all of these baddies having a score to settle with his costumed alias, the greatest threat facing Peter Parker (Andrew Garfield) seems to be his uncertainty over his relationship with Gwen Stacy (Emma Stone). Lest we forget that Webb helmed the overrated 500 Days of Summer, we’re subjected to constant reminders courtesy of tedious melodrama and clunky repartee penned by the writers of Transformers. Furthermore, these scenes of teary, angsty romance also ensure a tonal imbalance when abutted with set pieces hinging on cartoonish villainy.
Evidently believing that with an obscene budget comes great responsibility, the gregarious Garfield goes down fighting and heroically attempts to keep this overstuffed film from coming apart at the seams. Next time out, maybe he’ll finally be rewarded with a blockbuster befitting his commitment.
