MILLION DOLLAR ARM
Starring Jon Hamm, Suraj Sharma, Madhur Mittal
Directed by Craig Gillespie
It would seem that sports agent J.B. Bernstein (Jon Hamm) is man after Disney’s own money-grubbing heart. Consequently, it’s entirely fitting that his ploy to exploit India’s revenue potential should serve as the basis for The House of Mouse’s own flagrant attempts to line their pockets with rupees (courtesy of this pap featuring South Asian actors relegated to thankless supporting roles).
To his credit, J.B. openly acknowledges the desperation of his plan. With his fledgling agency hemorrhaging money, he experiences a eureka moment while flipping between cricket and Britain’s Got Talent. A few scenes later, he’s touring India with a reality show crew and Alan Arkin (who tellingly spends most of his screen time dozing off), searching for cricketers who can become baseball pitchers and create a billion new fans for America’s pastime. With two raw talents (Life of Pi’s Suraj Sharma and Slumdog Millionaire’s Madhur Mittal) recruited, it’s back to Los Angeles for an onslaught of uninspired fish-out-of-water/in-a-barrel gags and life lessons incapable of eliciting more than a roll of the eyes.
While based on a true story, Million Dollar Arm lacks in genuine moments. Every plot development feels remarkably calculated, which might be more forgivable if the machinations amounted to epiphanies more earth-shattering than J.B.’s realization that he can make do with a woman who’s not a supermodel. Despite having directed the odd Lars and the Real Girl, Craig Gillespie doesn’t find a single curveball to throw us here. Instead, he just tosses off clichés, ensuring that an enviable roster of talent never realizes its potential.
