Welcome to Poetic Licence – a weekly poetry forum, hosted by us, featuring words by local poets. This week? Cheneil Antony-Hale.
Thoughts on Overthinking
I overthink myself into extinction
The most pain comes from second guessing
Seconds stressing last all day
Butterflies crawl up inside my brain
Underneath my skin inside my veins
Trapped in a cycle night and day
And I try to say to myself it’ll be alright
Just let go of thoughts and say goodbye
A friend once told me of how she worked in palliative care
That the worst deaths were when people were scared
When they tried to fight what was coming and what would be
It was only those who let go that wouldn’t scream
That looked peaceful and free
Blissfully at ease
I wonder if it’s because they had something to believe in
Uncertainty and instability aren’t conducive to sleeping
Well and though I’d find it hard to adopt a god,
I can’t help but wondering if it’d stop me from feeling lost
I toss and turn at night
The cost it burns inside
I’ve spent days avoiding calls
Because I was scared of what would befall
And I was scared that my friends were getting madder
Ending up ghosting people over things that started off a small matter
Making up worst-case scenarios that don’t exist
In my world Schrödinger’s cat is dead
And I was the one who killed it cause I wouldn’t check the box
Afraid to find something that was dead and full of rot
The cat ended up dying cause of my fear from the start
Self-fulfilling prophecies tear my life apart
Cheneil Antony-Hale moved to Vancouver from Calgary in 2008. During her time here she has completed a combined major in economics and political science at UBC, and worked in fields as diverse as entertainment, provincial politics, and education. In her spare time, she volunteers as a videographer and writes poetry, screenplays, and journalistic pieces.
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