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12 hot takes of Christmas: Elf on the Shelf is a racket weak parents have permitted to flourish

For the 12 days leading up to Christmas, Kudos and Kvetches is airing its grievances and hot takes on all things seasonal and seasonal affective disorder-related
Who’s to blame for the holiday scourge known as Elf on the Shelf? Parents looking to fill a void in
Who’s to blame for the holiday scourge known as Elf on the Shelf? Parents looking to fill a void in their empty lives

For  the 12 days leading up to Christmas, Kudos and Kvetches is airing its grievances and hot takes on all things seasonal and seasonal affective disorder-related

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Who in damnation is responsible for this load of hot garbage?

Until a few years ago, we had never heard of the creepy holiday phenomenon known as Elf on the Shelf, where parents are hoodwinked into hiding a “magical elf” doll around the house so it can supposedly spy on their kids and report back to Santa Claus whether they’ve been naughty or nice.

But slowly it’s crept into the cultural zeitgeist, with parents staging more and more elaborate scenes of elf shenanigans and kids expecting to be entertained every morning with a new mischievous elf scenario. What fun.  

So how did this happen — especially when parents already have the make-believe world of Santa and flying reindeer to threaten and enthrall their kids with.  

Weak parents needing something to fill the void in their overworked empty lives happened.

Sure, kids get a kick out of discovering their elf has knocked over a box of cereal or gotten drunk off his ass on Jack Daniels. But make no mistake, the people who are getting the most out of hiding an elf doll around the house are parents. Sad, easily manipulated parents.

We’d also like to apologize to our playschool-aged niece and nephew, who are regular readers of this column, for probably ruining their Christmas.  

Happy holidays.

@KudosKvetches