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Alcohol and scissors… together at last

Who of us hasn’t sat down at our local barber/dry merchant/blacksmith to have mink oil lovingly applied to our handlebar moustache and imagined how nice it would be to consume a refreshing glass of mead or corn whiskey if our stingy legislators would
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Who of us hasn’t sat down at our local barber/dry merchant/blacksmith to have mink oil lovingly applied to our handlebar moustache and imagined how nice it would be to consume a refreshing glass of mead or corn whiskey if our stingy legislators would just allow it?  

Well, that Gold Rush fever dream is closer to reality thanks to those fun-lovin’ galoots in the B.C. government. Earlier this month it was announced that as of Jan. 23, 2017, businesses such as barber shops, salons, spas, cooking schools, art galleries and book stores will be able to apply for a liquor license. Community newspapers? Maybe next year.

Not surprisingly, much fanfare was made for the announcement, with MLA John “Just Giv’r” Yap, parliamentary secretary for liquor policy, sharing the news from a podium in an old-timey Victoria barbershop alongside store owner Matthew Conrad looking like a cast member of McCabe and Mrs. Miller.

Naturally, it wouldn’t be a government announcement without some bureaucracy thrown in. Barber shops and their staff will be required to get their Serving it Right certificate just to be considered for the privilege of cracking a cold one for their customers. Wielding a straight razor precariously around said customer’s jugular? Have at ’er.

Don’t get us wrong. We’re all for more opportunities to drink in public, but barber shops, hair salons and cooking schools are pretty far down on our priority list. What about drinking during parent-teacher interviews? Or at the dentist office to take the edge off? Or on the sidelines of your kid’s kind-of-lame soccer game?

Maybe that’s why God invented thermoses and wineskins.

@KudosKvetches