If you haven’t guessed by all the people walking the streets of Vancouver wearing headset microphones and giving unsolicited advice to strangers that they need to take stock of their personal inventory and embody the future they want to become, TED Talks are in town.
The travelling global empowerment conference and YouTube sensation hunkered down in Vancouver this week to bring people willing to shell out $7,500 the chance to be inspired by the likes of anthropologist Wade Davis, musician Imogen Heap, oceanographer Sylvia Earle, musician and Kickstarter fan Amanda Palmer, and a host of people who’ve done incredible things and think incredible things and get paid incredible amounts of money to talk about the incredible things they do and think, which in turn makes us feel a tiny bit bitter and resentful — but that’s probably just our reactive mind talking.
Needless to say, K&K didn’t fork out the equivalent of our yearly booze bill to get our mental chakras realigned by the walking TED. We’ve copyrighted that by the way, so don’t even try.
However, we were particularly dismayed by the fact that no one from TED Talks reached out to K&K and asked us to dispense some of our sage wisdom and inspirational “soul lubricant” (that’s copyrighted, too) on the moneyed masses. In fact, we had several “talks” already in the can. Here’s what you missed out on Vancouver:
• It’s OK to Delete Your Dad’s Mass Joke Emails Without Opening Them: He’ll Never Know and They’re Just Not That Funny.
• Let’s Re-Examine the Pleated Jean.
• In Case You Didn’t Already Know, the Cyndi Lauper song “She-Bop” is About Masturbation.
• Sometimes it Feels Good to Shoplift.
• Enough with the Bacon Worship.
• Why Mitsou’s “Bye Bye Mon Cowboy” Could End Quebec’s Sovereignty Debate.
• We’d Sleep With Justin Trudeau if Given the Chance… Just Sayin’.
• Roberto Luongo Deserves a Big Hug.
• Embrace the Citrusy Power of Drakkar Noir.
• We’re All a Bunch of Guilt-Ridden Lemmings in Search of Our Moral Compass So Let’s Stop Worrying, Throw Some Luther Vandross on the Stereo and Learn to Love the Crap Out of Each Again.
