Put down your rum and cokes and wave your iPhones in the air like you just don’t care. After years of intense chubby dude on chubby dude action, Apple has finally unseated Coca-Cola as the world’s number one brand. In fact, Coke isn’t even number two, according to a study of the top 100 brands conducted by Interbrand Corp.
While Apple Inc.’s brand value buffered, requested you to upgrade, made you regret the upgrade instantly because it rendered half your programs useless, then jumped 28 per cent to $98.3 billion, Google Inc. captured second place at $93.3 billion. Sad little Coca-Cola Co. slipped from the top spot after 13 years to third place with a paltry $79.2 billion.
Founded in 1976, and incorporated in 1977, Apple Computer, Inc. has grown from spunky little upstart to world-dominating behemoth. But back when we were growing up, Apple was just a faint blip on our radar, appreciated only by the nerdiest of nerds in our school’s AV Club. In fact, if you were to ask us back then what companies would grow up to become the world’s top brands in 2013, we’d have said the following:
• Pelican Cove
Bootlegger’s flagship brand not only evoked a sense of tropical adventure and untapped denim treasure, they made one hell of pair of khaki cargo pants during the 1980s. All those pockets and canvas straps — we felt like we could conquer ancient civilizations in a pair of Pelican Coves. Now they’ve gone the way of Sergio Valente jeans and parachute pants, and if they’re lucky maybe show up on an episode of Girls.
• Super Socco
If a brand’s value was measured in refreshment alone, the citrus-flavoured sports beverage and juice box pioneer known as Super Socco would be number one in a heartbeat. Alas, endorsements by Vancouver Whitecap Carl Valentine and a heavy presence at soccer camps in the early to mid-’80s does not a successful global brand make.
• Drakkar Noir
Sure, Guy Laroche’s ultra cool men’s fragrance can’t play mp3s, take photos of its duck-faced users, give directions to the nearest H&M or let you text images of your nether regions to friends and prospective blackmailers, but with notes of bergamot, rosemary, lavender, cardamom, geranium, vetiver, cedar, fir balsam and “loin of John Stamos,” at least you smell like a hero. Which is something that can’t be said for lame old iPhones. That is until they develop an iSmell app, which will probably be happening pretty soon.
