With Halloween upon us like a bloated manatee washed upon the shore and pressing our unaware sunbathing bodies into the hot, Nanaimo sand, picking a costume for the day’s festivities has never been more urgent. Don’t worry if you’ve procrastinated, forgotten or finally accepted the limitations of your imagination. K&K has you covered with this list of unique, attention-grabbing Halloween costumes that will set you apart from the crowd of sexy nurses, sexy zombies and sexy Gloria Macarenkos. (Are there any other kind?)
Jian Ghomeshi
Sure it’s a little hackneyed, opportunistic and perhaps in poor taste. But how often do you get to combine timeliness, pop culture, S&M and Canadian content in one getup? Plus it only requires a wig, swarthiness and a deep velvety voice creepily saying “Hi there” repeatedly. Alternative costume: Rex Murphy in a latex body suit.
The Trivago Guy
We have it on good authority that a few of our Facebook “friends” are planning to dress up as TV’s most annoying and sketchy pitchman. But we suspect they’re merely justifying their beltless existences and haven’t done laundry in a month. So have at it, and reclaim the power that the Trivago Guy steals from you when he haunts your dreams every night. Alternative costume: the annoying manager from A&W commercials who asks people on the street to taste his meat.
Premier Christy Clark’s son Hamish
Don’t pick on the kid, you’re probably saying. Well then don’t truck him up on stage when Mom wins elections or tries to plug her “Families First” agenda. Plus he’s got fabulous skater hair. Alternative costume: Adrian Dix’s broken dreams.
Former Urban Rush host Fiona Forbes
What can we say — she fascinates us. For instance, how can she be on Millionaire Matchmaker with a Shaw TV salary? What exactly is a “shy extrovert”? And why did Michael Eckford leave? So many questions. Alternative costume: Erin Cebula’s perfect teeth.
NPA mayoral candidate Kirk LaPointe
On the plus side, he’s handsome, dresses well and understands what it’s like to be hungry because he grew up poor, according to the dozens of times he’s mentioned it during his election campaign. On the negative side, outside of media and political circles, few people will know who you’re dressed as. Oh snap. Alternative costume: Vision councillor Tony Tang. Who’s that? Exactly.
Mating Cetaceans
This will require a partner and probably get you kicked out of whatever club or party you attend, but what better way to express your individuality than by thumbing your blow hole and fins at the park board’s resolution to ban the breeding of whales and dolphins at the Vancouver Aquarium. Let love rule! Alternative costume: the Aquariums cute but notoriously randy sea otters.
