For the first time in six years, the poetic souls at Kudos and Kvetches will not be embarking on its annual Haiku Night in Canada Canucks playoff haiku series. That’s because, as you’re probably well aware, Vancouver’s soon-to-be golfing NHL team tanked royally in the second half of the season and failed to make the playoffs, sealing the deal Monday night with a limp, 16-shot shutout loss to a team from California named after a water fowl. That means readers of this column will not be blessed with homoerotic odes to professional athletes mingling about steamy locker rooms like “gorillas in the mist.” No more double entendres featuring wooden shafts, treasure trails or outstretched branches “heavy with plums.” No more references to Luongo’s tender groin, the Sedins’ ginger lichen or Garrison’s whiskery beard mouth that pouts “like a cruel marmot.” And for that, we are truly sorry. Not as sorry as the brain trust who hired rosy-cheeked former player agent Mike Gillis to be GM, but sorry nonetheless.
That said, to appease readers who are jonesing for their yearly dose of hockey haikus, K&K has decided to repost some of the videos we made for our past Canucks haikus. Until next year, haiku lovers.
