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Here’s a list of all the crazy mistakes the city made in its Vancouver election guide

Yesterday the City of Vancouver Chief Election Officer sent out an email expressing regret for a number of errors that had been identified in the city’s newspaper elections insert in Star Metro Vancouver and the Vancouver Courier.
Photo iStock
Photo iStock

Yesterday the City of Vancouver Chief Election Officer sent out an email expressing regret for a number of errors that had been identified in the city’s newspaper elections insert in Star Metro Vancouver and the Vancouver Courier.

In the election inserts, several candidates’ names were misspelled and incorrect information was given regarding the number of candidates voters can choose. However, the eagle eyes at K&K have uncovered a few harder-to-find but no less egregious mistakes that we’d like to correct for the city. 

  • On Page 24, under Councillors, “MINTER, Seth” is described as a Cleric/Magic User whose preferred weapon is a Staff of Wizardry. However his preferred weapon is really a Longsword and Shield.
  • On Page 12, the essay explaining the underlying meaning of Cyndi Lauper’s 1983 hit “She Bop” made a blanket statement that the song was about “female masturbation” when in fact the lyrics “I bop, you bop, they bop” clearly indicate that the song is about self-pleasuring in general, regardless of gender.
  • On page 29, leprosy is not “a cool new metal band from Marpole.” It’s a chronic infectious disease caused by Mycobacterium leprae.
  • On Page 22, council candidate Glen Chernen did not invent the dance move “the electric slide.” Nor is he made of a meat-based dairy product called Pork Milk.
  • Lust, Envy, Regret, Free Range Crotch Chickens, The Penile Hydra and Monsieur Pamplemousse are not running for city council. They are candidates for park board.
  • The information regarding how to vote in advance polls was mistakenly replaced with the lyrics to Salt-N-Pepa’s “Push It.” Sorry about that.
  • On Page 39, Glass Houses is wrongly described as Billy Joel’s “best album,” when in fact it is The Stranger.
  • Outgoing councillor George Affleck will not be giving consensual backrubs at “mystery spots” across the city on election day located by using the downloadable app “Luxurious George.”
  • There is no longer a voting station in the Seventh Circle of Hell.

@KudosKvetches