Sad news, fans of high-fiving strangers.
Turns out if the Canadian men’s hockey team makes it to the gold medal round of the Olympics, you won’t be able to gather in your favourite pub, bar, tavern or mead hall to watch the game, which begins 4 a.m. Pacific time on Feb. 23. According to the CBC, the provincial government says it won’t relax liquor laws to allow bars and pubs to stay open for the crack-of-dawn face off.
“I have to balance things like public safety, public health, and also community interest,” said B.C. Justice Minister and official Buzzkill Ambassador Suzanne Anton, who, if you ask us, should really worry about more important public safety concerns, such as people who don’t wait a full half-hour after meals before swimming, jaywalkers and online daters who use outdated photos of themselves in their dating profiles.
If there is one bright side to the bars remaining closed, it’s that it harkens back to a simpler, more innocent time when Canadians used to get drunk and walk around shirtless in nothing but a thin layer of grease paint the old fashion way. In the comfort of their own home.
