You heard it here first, people: You can’t legislate or regulate love, according to Vision Vancouver councillors Kerry Jang and Geoff Meggs.
Apparently, you can’t hurry love, either, according to the Supremes.
But that’s another story…
Why all this talk about love?
Blame NPA Coun. George Affleck.
He brought a motion before city council Tuesday to request staff find a permanent home for “love locks” because city crews continue to remove them from railings and other spots around the city.
What are “love locks?”
According to Affleck, they are traditional padlocks that are attached to fences or railings by people to symbolize their commitment to each other. Keys are thrown away once the locks are attached.
The locks are popular in Paris — so popular that media reports say the weight of said locks led to a partial collapse of a bridge.
Oh, mon dieu!
Simplement incroyable!
Anyway, in his research, Affleck learned the first love locks were attached to railings of the Burrard Bridge but removed in 2013. Locks were also removed recently from spots along the seawall in Northeast False Creek.
And you know what such injustice does, don’t you people?
Affleck says it reinforces Vancouver’s image of a no-fun city. And another thing, a city is not just a collection of buildings and infrastructure, he said. Amen to that, monsieur, amen to that.
Despite Affleck’s efforts to have staff find a permanent home for the locks, his opposition councillors on the Vision team weren’t feeling the love in council chambers Tuesday — not even Coun. Kerry Jang, who was dressed inexplicably in a cream-coloured suit, has a thing for convertibles and has been known to hog the dance floor at Vision parties.
“I believe that love can happen anywhere and it just doesn’t mean love locks,” Jang told a few reporters after the council meeting. “It could mean a knowing glance, holding a hand, smiling at one another — and it should happen anywhere and spontaneously. So we don’t legislate love.”
Meggs, who was wearing an unremarkable suit, was worried Affleck’s move would create a “love locks free zone” and lead to a regulatory regime.
“Before long, I can see Coun. Affleck’s initiative leading to permits and approvals and so forth — and fines, bylaw officers and who knows what,” said Meggs, adding cheekily that Affleck might want to regulate "lip-locks" next.
So what Vision did was tell Affleck to go out by himself and find a permanent home for the locks instead of spending staff’s time and money on such a venture.
“Well Coun. Jang, thank you very much for the assignment,” responded Affleck. “To show that we have a bit of love in this council chamber is a good thing. But clearly my Vision colleagues have no love for the city of Vancouver.”
Boo, hiss went the Visionistas.
And that was that.
Now back to Jang’s cream-coloured suit…
He has two.
But he said the suit maker forgot to line the pants in the other one so... “when I stood out in the sunlight, you could see it all.”
I’ve got to stop asking questions.
Sorry about that, folks.
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