As mentioned in the Courier earlier this week, TransLink and Telus have launched a pilot project offering riders free Wi-Fi on three Metro Vancouver buses. According to a Telus spokesperson, the project was inspired by a 2014 study by Chicago’s DePaul University that found at least 60 per cent of transit riders use their mobile devices en route. The rest eat obnoxiously stinky fast food, clip their toe nails or press up against you and smell like sour milk. Maybe that’s just been our experience.
Besides, why would anyone want to make eye contact with a person, strike up a conversation, interact with an actual human being or look where they’re going when they can surf the web, check emails and evaluate Tinder prospects. Not that a lack of free Wi-Fi has ever hindered any of this antisocial behaviour. Free Wi-Fi just means more people who are hyper vigilante about their data plans will be logging onto the Internet friendly skies. And as we all know, those people are a blast to hang with.
As for K&K, we’re going to take another route, so to speak, while taking public transit.
Instead of free Wi-Fi, we’re going to offer fellow passengers free hugs, high-fives on the house and plenty of talk, which we’ve heard is cheap. We’re going to announce upcoming transit stops in a loud, confident voice to alert those who are too preoccupied with technology to pay attention. Sometimes we’ll even peer over people’s shoulders as they stare hypnotized at their handheld devices and inquire, “What are you looking at?” And if they don’t like it, or feel uncomfortable with strangers interacting with them and invading their psychological bubble, they can always text or email TransLink security. It won’t cost them a thing.
