Last week Microsoft revealed some of the bells, whistles and celibacy enhancers that will be part of its new Windows 10 operating system, which updates Windows 8 and completely bypasses Windows 9… because that’s the way these 9-hating thugs roll, mofo. While the nimble minds at K&K are the furthest thing from “technologically proficient” or even literate, here are three things we can tell you:
• Cortana. Actually, we have no idea what that is. It sounds like something you’d order at a Mexican restaurant. If that’s the case, then two big thumbs up.
• Holographic Headset. Sounds like a wicked band name, but it’s actually Microsoft’s latest attempt at “wearable tech.” Somehow it looks nerdier than Google Glass, if that’s possible.
• Spartan. Once again, we couldn’t be bothered to decipher all the computer lingo to figure this one out. We think it means cleaner lines or zero carbon emissions or maybe a way to declutter your desktop but still make you look interesting and eclectic to coworkers. Oh wait, apparently it’s a new browser to replace Explorer. Maybe if we still weren’t using Netscape, we might know that. Sorry.
