As reported in the Courier, potential NPA mayoral candidate Leonard Brody announced Thursday morning he was dropping out of the race and throwing his support behind rival Kirk LaPointe, making LaPointe the favoured choice. That is unless the NPA takes our advice for once and wisely decides to nominate that cute cat in Burnaby who’s stolen more than 50 gloves for some mysterious reason. Seriously, last month the lowly Black-Capped Chickadee received 278,000 votes to become Vancouver’s official bird. That’s almost twice as many ballots cast in the last civic election. A glove-stealing cat running for mayor would be off the charts.
However Brody’s reasons for dropping out had nothing to with feline phobia. “Primarily, my decision was based on the fact that my business obligations prevent me from giving the job the time and care it deserves,” he said in a press release.
But there’s another significant reason, K&K has uncovered: Brody’s unfortunate soul patch.
For those of you who don’t know, a soul patch is a piece of facial hair under one’s lower lip and above their chin. It’s a good look for bebop musicians and Frank Zappa, but it’s a scientific fact that soul patches diminish a candidate’s chances of getting elected.
Personally, we always assume anyone with a soul patch is humming a Smash Mouth song rather than paying attention to anything important.
It’s the same reason we have a hard time taking BCTF president Jim Iker seriously when he looks like a member of the Oakridge Boys.
Hair, or lack thereof, unfortunately matters in politics. Sure, it’s a sad reality. But then again, so are modern day soul patches.
