Like ugly sweaters and the arrival of eggnog in supermarket fridges, Prime Minister Stephen Harper’s annual butchering of beloved classic rock songs has become a cringe-worthy Christmas tradition in Canada. And this year, boy did he deliver the goods.
Clips of the PM happily, if awkwardly, warbling his way through Guns N’ Roses’ “Sweet Child O’ Mine” at the annual Conservative Party Christmas bash have been circling on websites and social media this week with wild abandon and are difficult to watch, even by Internet standards. It’s not that Harper can’t hold a tune or capably play keyboard, but his high-in-the-rafters voice is so soulless and stiff, the experience is a lot like watching your dad cut a rug at a wedding or listening to Georgia Straight editor Charlie Smith attempt to rap. Oh snap.
Of course, this is nothing new. Six years ago, Harper first revealed his musical aspirations at the Tory Christmas rager, setting up behind a keyboard with a band and performing the Beatles’ “With a Little Help from My Friends.” Critics saw it as a publicity stunt intended to humanize the often wooden, dead-behind-the-eyes prime minister, and many Beatles’ fans were horrified, though, honestly, it’s hard to get too indignant about a Ringo song.
Over the years, Harper has also belted out such hits as the Beatles’ “Hey Jude,” the Rolling Stones’ “Jumping Jack Flash” and Neil Diamond’s “Sweet Caroline.”
Personally, we have no problem if Harper wants to sing his heart, or what resembles a heart, out — if only for the comedy element and sense of superiority it gives so many people. But we’d like to see the PM delve even deeper into the classic rock catalogue, perhaps get the Led out with “Immigrant Song” or take an ill-advised ride on Ozzy Osbourne’s “Crazy Train.” Simon and Garfunkel’s “I am a Rock” would be fitting. Same goes for Deep Purple’s Alberta tar sands-friendly “Smoke on the Water” and Edgar Winter Group’s ode to the Senate “Free Ride.” The possibilities, much like Harper’s seeming lack of self-awareness, are endless.
