As we head into the final stretch of Vancouver’s Bird Week like a White-Breasted Nuthatch tenaciously pecking at grubs, the local electorate continues to spread its democratic wings with vim and vigour.
For the first time in the history of Vancouver Bird Week, the powers that be are holding a City Bird Competition, where residents can vote for their favourite local bird. To make things easier, the city has narrowed the choices down to six — Anna’s Hummingbird, Black-Capped Chickadee, Varied Thrush, Pacific Wren, Pileated Woodpecker and Northern Flicker — sadly ignoring K&K’s suggestions of Free Range Crotch Chicken, Those Douchebag Crows, Our Crazy Stepmother’s Gross-Looking Budgie That Has Pecked Off All Its Chest Feathers Because It’s Depressed and, of course, Free Bird.
Not only that, but each bird candidate has its own online profile and Twitter account. What fun.
Just to put this in perspective: There are people at the city whose job it is to send out bird “tweets” such as this gem from the Pileated Woodpecker: “Reason 4 to vote Pileated: I build homes for others. I’m nice like that.”
Earlier this week, CBC Radio One’s On the Coast host and karaoke ninja Stephen Quinn made the following sobering observations via his Twitter account: “Gregor Robertson won the 2011 Civic Elxn with 77,005 votes. The Varied Thrush 132,003 votes so far” and “114,823 people voted in Vancouver’s last civic election. 394,077 people have so far voted for Vancouver’s civic bird.”
However, as one person pointed out, 394,077 is the number of votes, not necessarily the number of voters, since some people have a lot of time on their hands and will vote for their bird of choice repeatedly. How else do you explain the Black-Capped Chickadee’s strong showing? We’ve seen more personality in a molting Pied-billed Grebe. Are we right?
Still, it is revealing, if not a little depressing, that people will get more excited and involved in voting for a bird than who will sit on city council. Mind you, there are rumours that the winner of the inaugural City Bird Competition will be put in charge of the mayor’s newly appointed Citizen Engagement, Empathy and DJ committee. And do you really want someone like the Pacific Wren in charge of spinning records and setting the agenda for the city’s dancefloors? That bird is a total drag, and apparently likes Bruno Mars.
Voting ends May 10 at vancouver.ca. And, in case you’re feeling extra adventurous, in the fall you can vote for actual people who make actual decisions on things that actually affect your life. The city’s municipal election takes place Nov. 15.
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