On Monday the Vancouver Canucks took a break from their regularly scheduled golf season to introduce new head coach, Willie Desjardins. The buzz around the city was palpable and not just because the Canucks finally snagged an NHL coach with a moustache. Simply put, Willie Desjardins offers a bounty of pun possibilities for sports headline writers who’ve been hobbled for too long trying to come up with snappy bon mots associated with Alain Vigneault and John Tortorella. Sorry, but “Dear John” just doesn’t cut it.
So, in anticipation of this windfall, K&K has come up with Willie Desjardins headlines that the local sports media are free to use, if they haven’t already.
• “The Willie to succeed.” To be used during the beginning of the season when optimism is high and winning is a distinct possibility. The Sedins are still emotionless but healthy, and sun continues to shine out of Trevor Linden’s firm behind.
• What makes this guy tick? Where does he eat his steak? What’s with the stache? Find out in our exclusive profile “View to a Willie.”
• Maybe, just maybe, the Canucks and their two-game winning streak have… “A case of the Willies.” Boom!
• For that sensitive story that attempts to attract the Canucks fan who also listens to the Smiths: “William, it was really nothing.”
• If the players could just adapt to Desjardins’ “system,” they’d be winning. Right? What better way to express this than with “Where there’s a Willie there’s a way.”
• Faced with injuries, another Sedins scoring drought and the DUI arrest of Fin the mascot, Canucks fans and headline writers find themselves in a familiar scenario. What else is there to do but pull out this gem of a headline: “Desjardins vu.”
• “Willie or won’t he?” For the inevitable speculation of whether the Canucks will fire their underperforming coach, if not this year then the next year, or the next.
• “Free Willie.” Desjardins is cut loose, rumoured to be partying in Hawaii with Tortorella.
• What happened? Where did everything go wrong? How did the Oilers get so good? Is it true Garth Butcher will be the next coach and the Canucks will change their name to the Creepers? Find out in our exclusive 15-page aftermath pullout section “Last Willie and testament.”
