Ever have one of those vacations where you need a vacation from that vacation?
Me neither.
Ha, ha, ha.
You probably thought I was going to complain about my one-week staycation and how it rained and how I emptied my wallet for a brake job on my car and how much it hurt to get a needle inserted into my eye lid to remove a cyst and how I spent more time on the business end of a hammer than I would have liked.
But no, I’m not that kind of guy.
You probably thought I was going to complain about the roof that leaked enough water into the attic to fill a kitchen sink and how a rodent chewed away the plastic top of my lawnmower’s gas tank and how my new neighbour’s eight-foot fence/wall will provide enough shade to surely kill the row of small cedars lining my once-neighbourly fence.
But no, I’m not that kind of guy.
You probably thought I was going to complain about how the crows, raccoons and skunks have left my yard in a lumpy mess of dirt and moss in search of the chafer beetle grubs and how the backyard gate is about to fall off its hinges and how I shook up an old can of paint only to have the lid come off and splatter all over the kids’ bikes, my left arm and an axe.
But no, I’m not that kind of guy.
You probably thought I was going to complain about how HBO costs 18 bucks a month (just to watch Bill Maher) and how there’s never anything on television and how I’m too cheap to get the channels that would have given me the Whitecaps and Canada-Mexico games.
But no, I’m not that kind of guy.
You probably thought I was going to complain about the guy on the motorcycle roaring up and down the street and how some idiots bent the neighbour’s basketball hoop so a ball can’t fit through it and how my demonstration to the kids on how to fire a wrist shot ended with me whistling a hockey ball high over a bench in the garage to shatter the framed photograph of my late dad.
But no, I’m not that kind of guy.
I’m the kind of guy who is just happy to be here, at my desk, typing away on one of those blue sky Vancouver days. It’s great to be back at work. Really, it is. Now if I only had something to write about.
@Howellings
