With Oxford Dictionaries recently declaring “vape” as its word of the year for 2014, K&K started thinking of all the words and phrases that inundated our lives in the past year that we’d like to do away with.
• LOL
Whenever we see these three letters in a text or email we automatically know that whatever it’s in response to was not in the least bit funny, let alone “laugh out loud” funny.
Preferable alternatives: Ha!, HF (hypothetically funny), LOIBIKFOJASLDIMEC (laughing on inside because I keep feelings of joy and sorrow locked down in my emotion cage).
• Mayor Moonbeam
We get it, you didn’t vote for Gregor Robertson. You’re not a fan of bike lanes or hippie-dippy things like backyard chickens or bee hives. But calling him Mayor Moonbeam telegraphs that from a mile away. It’s also lazy and indicates you spend too much time on message boards writing in all capital letters.
Preferable alternatives: The Prince of Pedals, Commie Pinko, the most handsomest mayor I’ve ever laid eyes on and feel conflicted about because I don’t agree with his policies.
• life hack
By definition a life hack is any shortcut or trick that makes your life more efficient or productive, but it’s usually just an excuse for dumb lists that your friends post on Facebook.
Preferable alternative: duct tape.
• craft
We like microbreweries as much as the next functioning alcoholic, but the word “craft” has become so popular it no longer possesses any meaning. In fact, whenever we see craft in the name of a business, we automatically assume it’s to compensate for its soullessness and lack of originality and genuine character. There’s even a giant condo development in Mount Pleasant selling itself as “crafted living,” which we presume means lots of antlers and mason jars. Mind you, we don’t have a problem with the word “Artisanal” because that’s what we plan to name our first child.
Preferable alternatives: grizzled, plaid shirt friendly, susceptible to bearded clientele.
