Let’s play a game.
It’s called, “What are the mayoral candidates really talking about?”
Catchy, eh?
The point of the game is to test your knowledge on civic issues and weigh in on the stuff you’re hearing — and will be hearing — from the NPA’s Kirk LaPointe and Mayor Gregor Robertson of Vision Vancouver as their campaigns roll towards election day in November.
I’ll play the part of the host.
Here we go…
Host: When the candidates say — bike lanes! — what are they really talking about?
Participant: Well, it would really help if they specified whether it was bike lanes painted on roads, or those separated bike lanes that run over the Burrard Bridge, through downtown and into Chinatown. Then there are those bike lanes and road closures they did on Point Grey Road. It can get confusing, no?
Host: Sure can.
Participant: Glad you agree.
Host: So you’re not prepared to answer the question until they clarify that?
Participant: Correct.
Host: OK then, when the candidates accuse each other of being cozy with developers — or denying they’re cozy with developers — what are they really talking about?
Participant: Well, it would really help if they didn’t pretend their parties aren’t both heavily funded by developers who, in turn, visit city hall on a regular basis to get projects approved.
Host: So that’s your answer?
Participant: Can you think of a better one?
Host: Uh, no.
Participant: Next question, please.
Host: OK, when the candidates talk about transparency at city hall, what are they really talking about?
Participant: Well, I heard the new guy say something about Vancouver becoming the most transparent city in Canada, if not North America. Then I heard the other guy’s colleague go on about how Vancouver is “very open to the public.” So who am I supposed to believe?
Host: Sorry to hear about all that confusion.
Participant: Transparency, shmanzparency. Every mayoral candidate says they want more transparency. I have no idea what that means. I happened to listen in on an interview the other day where Larry Campbell recalled pushing transparency as an issue when he ran for mayor in 2002.
Host: What did he say about it?
Participant: Well, Larry being Larry, he said something like campaigning on transparency gets tiresome and that it’s kind of like kissing your sister — one time is OK but you don’t want to keep doing it.
Host: Oh, that Larry…
Participant: Anyway, what else you got for me?
Host: OK, how about this term “affordable housing.” What are these guys really talking about when they utter this mouthful of an oxymoron?
Participant: I couldn’t tell you. I know the city says they want to build homes for households earning up to $86,000 a year. But then I saw one of those rental places advertised on Craigslist. You know, the ones the city got developers to build? Yeah, well a studio apartment was going for $1,400 a month!
Host: You mean that place on Granville Street where the mayor said rents were going to go for about $950 per month?
Participant: That’s the one.
Host: They’re furnished, though.
Participant: Still — c’mon — how is that affordable? Sure like to hear what the other guy is proposing to do about so-called affordable housing in this overpriced town.
Host: OK, I’ve got one more for you. Homelessness is up, homelessness is down — what are they really talking about?
Participant: Well, the guy in charge started off saying he wanted to solve homelessness by 2015. Then he changed it to something called “street homelessness.” Last time I checked, overall homelessness was at an all-time high in the city.
Host: That’s true but the number of homeless people who are now in some form of shelter has gone up since the guy in charge got elected way back in 2008.
Participant: Homeless is homeless.
Host (checking inch count for this column): Thanks, but we’re going to have to leave it there. Before I go, I’ve got to say I’m impressed — you’re really up on the issues.
Participant: Well, I read the Courier.
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